


The Childhood Years of Severus Snape

by DutchSlytherpuff



Series: Life stories: Severus Snape [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28068741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DutchSlytherpuff/pseuds/DutchSlytherpuff
Summary: On the 9th of January, 1960, a baby boy was born. This is no ordinary boy. This boy is a wizard, something he was made well aware of at a young age by his mother. Growing up is hard for a Wizard from a neglectful, poor family of the Muggle dwelling Spinner's End, but when he finds a girl much like himself, friendship blooms and all is well.This story is the first in a series about Severus Snape's life, from the moment he is born until he dies. This part tells about his early childhood years, starting with his birth and ending with the day he leaves for Hogwarts.
Series: Life stories: Severus Snape [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056245
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story and I greatly appreciate it that you have taken your time to come read it! Please let me know what you think of it. I'm not a native speaker so if I make any language errors please feel free to correct me (it helps in learning the language!). Thank you in advance, and I hope you enjoy the story.

Eileen Prince had always been a well-respected woman in the Wizarding World. Though her looks were unfortunate, her family was old, Pureblood, and rich. Three important things to have in the Wizarding World. During her years at Hogwarts — she had been in Slytherin House like her parents before her, and before them, their parents, and grandparents — she excelled in most of her classes, and became captain of the Gobstones Club in her free time. She had achieved as many as seven N.E.W.T.s at Outstanding level. She was highly academical. 

After school, she had married a boy her parents had picked out for her. He was a Pureblood, rich, and quite nice to look at. He was kind to Eileen, but not home very often, for he had an important job at the ministry which meant that sometimes he was away from home for weeks or months at the time. At first, this didn't matter so much, but later on it started to weigh on Eileen that she was alone so much. It made her lonely. 

The manor they lived in was big, but empty, and although the couple longed for children, they didn't come. They tried, and tried, and tried again but all their attempts were futile as years later there were still no children. She was well over thirty and the chances of success were slim. 

So, with her husband out at the ministry all the time for work, Eileen was left to find other means of occupying herself. She had taken a liking to taking long walks around the neighbourhood, chatting to the people who were in town or lived nearby. She made long visits over at her old friends' houses, and at her parents' house. 

Her walks quickly got longer and farther from home as she grew bored of the scenery. Being a witch was useful, she simply Apparated to another part of the country to find a different route, a different place to explore. 

On one of these walks, she met someone. Toby. Toby was unlike anyone she had ever met before. He was a Muggle, that much she had figured out soon enough, but what a man!  
She was fascinated with him and spent a lot of time with him. Every moment her husband wasn't home, she would Apparate to the town Tobias lived in. They would spend hours just talking about anything they wanted. She found he was unlike any stereotypes she had heard about Muggles, and thought he was great company. 

Great company was all the lonely Eileen needed. 

Toby Snape was two years younger than she was, and their friendship soon became more. They got romantically involved, and their relationship was more passionate than her and her husband's had ever been. 

She never told him she was a witch, though. He couldn't know that, it was against the law. And yet their relationship was built on trust. 

It took seven months for her husband to realise she was spending time with someone else. When he discovered that someone else was a Muggle, and there was more going on than just friendship, he was furious. 

He kicked her out of the house the very same day, and filed for a divorce. Her parents disowned her as soon as they heard, and her friends refused to lay eyes on her ever again. 

That was what happened, when you get involved with Muggles. 

With nowhere else to go, she fled to Tobias Snape, all her stuff packed in one trunk. The house he — they — lived in was small, the part of town always covered in a thick layer of smoke coming from the Mill which towered over the houses. 

The air was always chilly, and the most over the black, dirty river never seemed to disappear. The cobblestoned roads between the houses were uncomfortable to walk over, and it was dark enough, even during the day, that she could easily get lost. 

The river led to a Muggle school, and then farther into the other part of town. The nicer part of town. The part of town she had never been to before. 

It was nowhere near as big, healthy or beautiful as where she had lived up until now, but she was certain this would be a happier place. 

Oh, how wrong she had been. At first all was good and well. They married (something which was published in many wizarding newspapers, and made her a bigger disgrace to the entire Pureblood community) and they lived happily for a while as Mr and Mrs Tobias Snape. 

But then she discovered she was pregnant. 

Toby didn't like children, and never wanted any. Eileen had given up on having any, and figured she was infertile after her decades of trying without result. But there she was, 38 and pregnant. 

Pregnancy was hard on her, and she was forced to stay at home the entire time. Her old belongings, wand, school stuff, other magical items, were stashed away in the tiny attic and it took everything she had not to get them out and make things better with the wave of her wand. 

But she couldn't, and she knew that. It was her own decision to become involved with this Muggle, and now she had to live with that decision. Now she had to live as a Muggle. 

It wasn't a life she liked very much. Just being at home, trying to take care of everything and waiting for Tobias to come home. It was as if nothing had changed at all, only this time around, she had no friends or family left to go to. Her child would grow up without them. 

Tobias got drunk a lot. After work he would hit the pub, and then hit her. He called her lazy for sitting around all day, and life became increasingly difficult as Toby got more and more controlling and more and more aggressive. Things weren't going well at his job, and she was the target of his frustration. 

It worried Eileen, who knew she wasn't just deciding for her own fate anymore but also that of her baby, but she stayed. She had nowhere else to go, nobody would want her. The Blood Traitor and her Halfblood child... they wouldn't survive in the harsh Wizarding World. 

The Muggle world would be best for them, at least until her child could get away. Until it was old enough to go to Hogwarts and escape this place. 

After eight months of pregnancy she gave birth. Tobias was even mad at her for that — the agreement was nine months of pregnancy, not eight — but she made it and was delighted to see her baby boy seemed to be healthy. 

He was born on the 9th of January, 1960, at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. 

She wrapped it in a towel and looked at it as it lay on her chest. A little bundle of skin. It was crying, and crying, and crying. Eileen couldn't shut it up. She was extremely tempted to get her wand to cast a Silencing Charm on it. 

To be honest, it was kind of ugly. Of course, it was only a new-born and that would change soon, well, hopefully really soon. Just look at that awful nose! She thought upon seeing it. She’d hoped the baby wouldn’t inherit Tobias’ nose, but unfortunately, it had. 

She swore to herself, if that baby kept that weird-looking hook-like nose, she'd straighten it out herself. It somehow made him look like a cranky old man, and she couldn't imagine it not becoming something other children would bully him for. 

That's how she came up with the name: Severus. The nose made him look severely disabled, and stricter than McGonagall. And that was to say something, because McGonagall was, by far, the strictest person Eileen could think of. 

Tobias came home that night and didn’t even look at the baby. They didn’t have a crib, nothing, for the boy to lay in except for the guest room’s bed. But that was an adult bed — a baby couldn’t sleep there, could it? 

So she broke her promise and located her wand. She cast some protective spells over the baby and the guest room's bed in the hope that the boy wouldn’t fall out this way. But Tobias had seen it. He saw her use her wand, and there was no way out of it. 

She had to tell him the truth. 

She explained to him what she was, and once Tobias had stopped declaring she was insane and had started believing her, he was furious. She had never seen him this angry. 

He yelled at her for hours about trust and honesty, and she found herself agreeing on several points. She had been lying to him, yes, but for good reason. 

But Tobias wouldn't have any of it. He was angry and refused to listen to her thoughts. 

By the time he was done with her, she was black and blue from the forming bruises. 

A new era in her life had begun with this argument. An era in which she wished more than ever that she’d never left her previous life, which had been full of blood prejudice and whatnot, but it had been so much better than this hell she’d stumbled into. Anything was better than this. 

But this isn’t her story. 

This story is her son’s. 

This is Severus’ story.


	2. The Beginning

And Severus’ story starts on a cloudy afternoon, about 18 months after we left off with the prologue. The past eighteen months had been interesting. Eileen had stayed at home to care for young Severus, who was developing as he should. He was ahead of his age, especially considering that he was born a month early. He was an active little boy with far too much energy. But even at this age, he was well aware of how to behave around his father. 

It was best to be silent and invisible when it came to being around Tobias. 

Eileen had tried to provide everything she could for her son over the past year and a half. And it hadn’t been easy, not with Tobias’ constant arguing, and him wanting to know where all the expenses went, and him not caring for or about his son. It was just a waste of money to him. 

Sometimes Eileen wondered if it was better to take Severus and make a run for it, but in the end she always decided against it. They had nowhere to go, and it wouldn't take long before Severus would be off for Hogwarts. 

That’s why it was so surprising that yesterday evening, when Tobias had come home, he wanted Severus to meet someone his own age. One of Tobias’ co-workers had a son and they were coming over today so the two toddlers could meet. 

Eileen had been cautious with Severus and outsiders. Accidental Magic could be dangerous, and she couldn’t have him exposing the Wizarding World. But he hadn't shown any serious magic at all yet (only normal baby stuff, like redoing a blanket or something, nothing of any use nor concern on a playdate), she reasoned, so it would be reasonably safe for the both of them to have this playdate. Plus, it would keep Tobias happy, and a happy Tobias, is a happy... life. Alright, that doesn't rhyme, but it is true. 

So, today was the big day. One of Tobias' colleagues, some John or whatever his name was, and his wife would come over with their child. Their child would only be a month or so older than their son, so they would be great for each other (their words, not hers. She wasn't sure if Severus should meet any children before he could understand magic a little better. For everyone's safety). They arrived around noon and Eileen, being the good housewife she was, let them in and offered to make some tea. She had been preparing for this moment all day. These people would be the first non-family members she'd seen since she married Toby. 

In the meantime, young Severus was busy scribbling with a crayon on some paper (hopefully, if not it was the floor, which wouldn't be good. Eileen did not look forward to having to scrub the floor because an 18 month old couldn't stick to the paper. Again.) in the corner of the living room. 

“Severus, come here,” she said as she was busy preparing the tea for the guests. If this was to introduce him to a child his own age, it was best he was introduced to the child, or else this meeting had failed before it started. 

Severus quickly got on his feet and practically ran towards her. He had always been a fast walker, so it was no surprise he hot the hang of running quite early, a few months back. He was always so full of energy. He looked at her with his big, dark, expecting eyes. The boy’s eyes always fascinated Eileen. She could swear he knew much more than an average toddler was supposed to. But with his limited language skills, it was all guesswork for her, what was going on in that tiny brain of his. But she was sure he was a little genius. Her little genius. 

“There's someone you need to meet,” she said and pointed at the little boy sitting on his mother's lap on their couch. “Go say hi. Be nice.” 

Severus walked over to the boy, cautious of the strangers in the house. He never saw anyone except his parents. Mostly his mother. 

The other boy wasn't paying attention to him, he was looking around him at the walls and ceiling as he sat on his mother's lap. Severus simply stood in front of the strangers, staring at them, not knowing what to do next. Luckily, the woman took over. 

“You must be Severus,” she beamed at him. “I'm Lisa, and this is little Jimmy. Look, Jimmy, it's Severus,” she added to her son. The boy looked at Severus and smiled. “Hi...” he said. 

Severus blinked a few times at the new boy that was invading his home. Why was he here? His young mind couldn't understand the sudden change of routine. 

The woman, Lisa, asked: “What's your name, dear,” even though she already knew it. 

This was confusing for Severus. It was bad to state the obvious, that much he had learnt already from living with his father. His father hated it when people pointed out things he already knew. So he stayed silent, unsure how to respond. 

His mother, Eileen, then re-entered the living room with tea and biscuits. She had seen her son close off and remain silent. She had feared this would happen. The poor kid wasn't used to seeing new people. 

“Severus, have you seen your father,” she asked after she got his attention. He appeared to think deeply before shaking his head to indicate that, no, he hadn't, thankfully. 

Severus didn't like his father. He was mean and strict. He much preferred his mother. At least she pretended to care if he lived or died, even if it wasn't much, it was all he had. She was nicer. 

“Hmm… Strange,” she said, but Severus didn't listen anymore. “I haven’t seen him all day,” she added the last part to herself more than to anyone else, but she had said it loudly enough for the guests to hear as she went around, handing out the tea and the biscuits. It was Tobias' idea to have this playdate. Why wasn't he here for it? 

“He’ll come ‘round,” Lisa said to her as she took her tea and biscuit. “Jimmy, dear, why don’t you go play with little Sevvy, eh?” she added to the toddler and put her son on the ground and let the two children play. 

“I suppose you're right,” replied Eileen, but she seemed unhappy about this news. Normally when Toby was late, he had been drinking. She hoped this time that wasn't the case. She didn't want a drunk Tobias while they had visitors. 

“I’m Jimmy,” the little boy said after he'd waggled to Severus, who had resumed his drawing on the paper. 

“I know,” Severus said. His mother had introduced him already. This would be the third time he would introduce himself, and he wasn’t going to do that. He had better things to do, such as completing this drawing. 

“Aren’t they cute together?” Lisa asked Eileen, smiling at her son who was talking to Severus. 

“Yeah… Perhaps they could be friends. That’d be fun, eh?” Eileen smiled, too. 

Lisa hummed something in response. 

“They my cawes,” Severus told Jimmy who had picked up a red crayon and examined it closely. They were his, and his alone. “MY cawes!” Severus repeated as the boy didn't give it back. Why didn’t Jimmy leave his stuff alone? 

“Aww, look they’re sharing!” Lisa squealed. Eileen looked at what Lisa was talking about, and saw Severus was glaring at Jimmy, who was moving to colour on the paper Severus had been colouring on before. This wasn't sharing at all, this was bordering on a fight. She held her breath. 

“STOP,” Severus yelled, fighting back tears. But Jimmy continued to draw, ruining Severus’ drawing he had worked on so long. Severus grabbed Jimmy’s arm to stop him. “MY!” he yelled. Jimmy started to cry. 

“Jimmy! Jimmy, dear, what happened? Did the mean little boy hurt you?” Lisa asked, hurrying toward her son. 

Eileen stayed put, eyeing her son, who was still trying to get the crayon back from Jimmy’s hands. She was curious how this would play out, and believed the boys were more than capable of solving this themselves. Nobody had gotten hurt yet, and wizarding toddlers often caused far greater havoc than just grabbing the other's arm. Jimmy was weak. 

Lisa was hugging her son now, and Severus was jerking Jimmy’s hand so he could get it back. The front door opened, and Eileen's attention shifted from her son to her husband, who was clearly drunk. 

“Severus,” Eileen tried to get his attention to do some damage control, but it didn’t work. Severus was focused on one thing only, and the rest of the world ceased to exist. It was something she noticed happened a lot with the boy. Multitasking wasn't his strong suit, and once he got focused on something, there was nothing else he cared about. 

“Severus!” Severus looked up at that sound. It was a bad sound. The voice sent shivers down his spine. His father had appeared in the doorway, together with a stranger who rushed over to the two other strangers in his house. 

“What the devil is going on here?!” his father inquired. Severus stopped trying to get his crayon and tried to get to the stairs on time, but he was far too late. 

“Stay here,” his father yelled, but Severus didn’t listen as he tried his best to get upstairs, but he wasn’t a good climber and the stairs were long. His father had picked him up with both hands and he tried to get out of his father’s grip but failed. He sought the room for his mother, who he saw was sitting on the couch, doing nothing. 

Eileen watched her husband as he carried Severus back to the living room. “Apologise to Jim,” Tobias said. 

“sowwy,” Severus muttered. 

“Good. Now that’s been enough. John, take your family and leave.” 

The three strangers seemed confused but they did leave their house, never to return after such a strange, unwelcoming visit. And it was all Eileen's fault, even if Tobias targeted poor Severus. Severus was only a baby. It wasn't his fault at all. It couldn't be. 18 month olds weren't aware of the world enough for anything to be their faults. 

“Now you’re going to listen very carefully,” Tobias grumbled, turning to the young Severus, “because I’m only saying this once. Whenever I get you a bleedin’ friend, you don’t make ‘em bloody cry, got that?!” he was shaking Severus and Severus found it hard to concentrate on his father’s words. 

Eileen got to her feet. She wasn't about to just sit back and watch. “Toby –” she tried. 

“Shut up!” 

“Tobias, please, that’s enough. He’s only a child, it’s not his fault. I should have kept him in check. If anyone's to blame, it's me. Not him.” 

“Fine. But I’m not done with you.” He let Severus down and Severus ran to his mother and hid behind her legs. His father left the living room and marched upstairs, and Eileen could only hope it was to sleep it off, though she knew better than that. He'd be back for her. 

But that was okay. Because this was the very first time ever that Eileen had managed to win, at least for Severus' sake. If she could keep her son safe, she was happy enough to take the blame, the beatings, the fighting...

She had been able to get Toby to give her son a rest, for the very first time she hadn't had to physically tear him away from the poor kid. She hoped it wouldn’t be the last. Severus deserved better.

She couldn't wait for the day he would get his letter, for the time he would be able to escape this life once and for all. To Hogwarts. 


	3. Accidental Magic

Eileen took care of the little boy who was clinging to her leg, terrified of what had happened. She picked him up and calmed him down until the tears had stopped. She gave him some water to drink and then talked about sharing and not starting fights, but she knew it was useless. The child was too young to understand that.

After she was sure Severus was doing well — he had resumed playing with his crayons — she went upstairs to check on Tobias.

She opened the door to their bedroom only slightly, to find a snoring Tobias. Quickly, before she accidentally woke him, she closed the door and went back downstairs.

She was very happy about her husband sleeping, because it meant that she didn't have to worry about him for now, and maybe he would even just forget what had happened. If he had been drunk enough...

She returned to where Severus was playing, and smiled to herself as she watched him play, using magic along the way that he wasn't even aware of.

Severus spent the rest of the day by playing with his crayons and by running around the house to get rid of some of that excess energy he had, while Eileen cleaned up after him. 18 month olds made a lot of mess, and she couldn't wait for him to grow up and be old enough to clean up after himself. She was rather tired of having a toddler in the house.

As evening came, she decided to cook a large meal for Tobias, to get on his good side. After this morning, that was best. She hoped Tobias would be calmed down enough to enjoy the meal.

She was certain he couldn't have forgotten about this morning. Yes, she hoped he had, but she doubted it. It was always best to stay realistic rather than hopeful.

As it got time to eat, she helped Severus to the table, and then went upstairs. She gently woke her husband, who seemed to have forgotten all about that morning. Or was it just an act? Whatever it was, he was actually somewhat nice ish to her as she woke him, and actually thanked her for the food when they got downstairs and he saw what she had made.

Severus didn't seem too pleased, however. The toddler wasn't a big eater, and quite picky at that. It wasn't a good moment for him to throw a fit over what they were eating, so she nervously eyed Severus the entire time.

He was picking at his food, and had maybe taken three or four bites when his father finally had enough of it and yanked his plate away from him.

Eileen instinctively moved closer to Severus, in the hope she could help him one way or the other.

“You ungrateful little brat,” Tobias said, slamming the plate on the table, nearly breaking it.

“Have you any idea how hard I've been working to get you that food on that table, to get the clothes on your body?!” 

“Tobias,” his mother tried to interrupt him. This was supposed to be a nice dinner to calm him down, not a dinner meant to make things worse.

“Quiet, woman! I'm trying to get some sense into this kid!” He stood up anc towered over Severus, who was cowering in his seat. He should've just eaten his food.

Eileen opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it and hoped the situation would resolve itself.

“You deaf or something?! Answer me, boy!” he shouted and Severus started to cry. Eileen knew that was the end of peace. Tobias hated crying.

Before either of them knew it, Tobias' hand had forcefully connected with Severus' cheek, which only made him cry out louder.

“That's enough, Tobias!” She stood up, too, and grabbed his arm to get him away from Severus.

Tobias wasn't phased, pushed her against the wall, yelling at her to stay out of it before turning back to Severus, picking him from his chair and taking him upstairs.

“If you don't like the food, you're not getting any!”

His father opened the door to Severus' room and threw him in. Severus hid away in the corner of the room as his father approached him, still mad. Where was his mother?

“No son of mine’s a cry-baby, understood?”

Severus didn't answer.

His father was angry about him crying but he couldn't stop, the tears just kept coming. He didn't understand what he had done wrong to make his father so mad at him all the time. He closed his eyes as his father came closer, knowing he couldn't do anything to stop it.

But the impact wasn't what he had expected. He felt the sting, but then heard a loud bang and a crash, and cries from his father.

Severus had no idea what was going on and was terrified at what happened: the second his father's hand hit his jaw, his father was sent flying back, crashing into the wall.

Severus still sat in the corner of his bedroom, scared and confused of what had just happened as he heard his father groaning in pain.

But he knew one thing: He had made that happen. He was sure of that. He had wanted it to happen. He had wanted his father to go away, to not hurt him. He hadn't wished exactly for this to happen, but he was still sure it was his doing.

He watched as his father slowly got to his feet, looked at him, and then stomped out of his room.

Severus heard him going downstairs. He heard him yelling at his mother about keeping him in check, about what had happened, about something called magic.

He heard his mother protest that he was only a boy, that he couldn't control it yet and neither could she, that it wasn't his fault. That if his father hadn't scared him, it never would have happened.

There were cries of pain from his mother, next.

He didn't want to listen anymore. He still sat there, in the corner of his bedroom. He couldn't block out the noise, it was too much, too loud. He couldn't help but cry.

But then the sounds ended with the front door slamming shut.

Someone was coming up the stairs. He heard the footsteps. They were gentle. It was his mother.

His door opened and he saw his mother standing there, confirming his thoughts of who was coming up.

The left side of her face was starting to swell, but she had still come to see him. She couldn't just let him up here alone. And Tobias had left for the pub, so now was as good a time as any.

Eileen had to explain this to him, or Severus would never know what had happened. She hadn't expected it to happen at such a young age, and she had planned to have this conversation when he was a lot older, but he deserved to know. And maybe magic was something that could help Severus get through this life.

“Hey,” she said, coming into the room. “Do you know what happened?”

Severus shook his head.

She sat down next to him. “You used magic. Do you know what magic is?”

Again, Severus shook his head but this time, he looked up at his mother. He wanted to know what this so-called 'magic' was she was talking about. He had heard them yell about it downstairs, so it must be important.

“There is a whole, entire world out there, hidden from people like your Dad,” she said, thinking carefully about what words she'd pick to explain this to him. He was only a toddler, after all.

“Your Dad can’t enter that world. It’s ours entirely. You see, your Dad’s what we call a ‘Muggle’. Muggles are people who can't do magic. Most of the people can't. Especially in this town. But we can. I'm a witch, and you’re a wizard. And when you turn eleven, you’ll get away from here. You’ll go to this magical school called Hogwarts, and you’ll learn magic. You'll learn how to use it. Like you did when you pushed back your Dad. You do want that, don’t you?” she hoped she had explained it well.

She knew he was wise beyond his years, and she wondered if it would cause him trouble later.

Severus was beaming at her. If this ‘Magic’ had kept his dad away this time, it could surely keep him away other times. And for that, Severus would love to learn it.

“That’s what I thought.” His mother smiled at his reaction. She couldn't imagine him not wanting to learn how to do what he just did.

“Now, why don't we take a look at that bruise?” she turned his head in her hands and examined his bruised face and cut lip. It looked painful, and it broke her heart to see it. She wished more than anything that she could just magic it away, but she knew she couldn't.

She couldn't do any more magic. Magic would just make it worse, not better.

“You’ll be OK,” she said. "Let me just get some ice for you and then let’s get you ready for bed, eh?”

She went downstairs to get some ice, and then returned to find Severus had fallen asleep.

She took him in her arms and put him in his bed. She put the ice compression on his face, and hoped it wouldn't wake him up. His small body and his brilliant mind had had to endure so much in their short lives...

She stayed with him until she heard the front door again. It was already morning when he returned. But the footsteps up the stairs never came, so Eileen assumed he had passed out on the couch.

It was only when it was time to prepare breakfast that she left her son's side. He would be alright. It was only ten more years he had to go through, and she would do anything in her power to protect him from harm during, and after, these ten hard years of life.


	4. The Magic Book

Money was getting increasingly tight in the Snape household. The Mill was doing bad business, and had cut the salary of the workers several times. It had gotten so bad that Eileen was forced to pick up a job as well, and she became a cleaning lady at the nearby hotel for a few hours per day.

Severus was only four years old, but there was no money for a babysitter and after the incident a few years prior, they didn't have any friends, and were regarded as strange, creepy, people. And so it came to be that the young Severus was left home alone.

Eileen didn't mind this too much, for she was especially worried about the young boy accidentally exposing the magical world to outsiders if he were to be left in someone else's care.

She had witnessed him and his magical development, and she knew he would grow up to do brilliant things. The amount of control he had over his magic at this age was incredible, and she knew that, with the right training, he would become one of the greatest wizards of their time.

She wished she could teach him some of the basics before he were to leave for Hogwarts, but she knew she couldn't. It was too dangerous, here in this Muggle town. And Tobias would never allow it. No, the boy would have to wait until he got to Hogwarts where he could enjoy the best magical education a child could get.

Today was the first time he would be left home alone. Eileen had prepared everything for today. She had even made him some food so he could have something to eat while she was gone. It would only be three hours anyway. The kid would be fine.

She woke him up right before she had to go. Tobias had left a few hours before.

“I’ve got some food for you on the table, don’t forget to use the potty when you have to go, and… I guess that’s about it. I’ll be back in a few hours. Bye.”

Severus slowly woke up, barely registering his mother's words and by the time he sat up in bed, she was long gone. He slowly but carefully got out of bed, and left his bedroom.

Anxiously, he watched the stairs. He had to go down there. So many steps to go down. But he was a big boy now. He was four. He could conquer these steps.

He took a deep breath and set a shaky foot on the upper step. His other foot next to it. So far, it was going great.

He braced himself for the second step, feeling more confident every second. As he reached the bottom, he beamed with pride.

He went into the living room. It looked so strange with nobody in it. It was empty and scary.

He went up to the table in the corner of the room and reached out to get the food. He curled up on the couch and ate the bread.

He then, curious as he was, decided it was a good moment to start exploring places in the house he had never been able to go to before. He knew they had a second floor — there was a flight of stairs going up — but he had no idea what was up there. Time to figure out why it had always been off limits for him.

After managing through both staircases without tripping and falling down, something he took great pride in, he reached a small crawling space and saw it was packed with books, with layers of dust on them. They had obviously not been used in several years.

Severus picked up the first book he saw. There were weird shapes on the cover.

He flipped though the book until he saw a picture. Good books contained pictures. He couldn’t read, so pictures weren't only the indication of good books, but also of useful ones.

Ah! A picture. He leaned closer to the book and traced the picture with his finger. It was some sort of step-by-step plan of how to do something… there was a stick and swirls and it was all very fanciful. He remembered the many stories his mother had told him. About magic, and wands, and he wondered if the stick was a wand.

Was it a magic book? Was this how people learnt magic? By reading these books? By watching those pictures and… repeating them? Was it really as simple as that? His mother had made it sound much more complicated.

This would mean he could do magic too? Now? If he just followed the steps? That was how it worked? Really?

He looked around the room. If only there was a stick — a wand — here. Because he didn't have any himself.

But the room seemed to just be packed with stacks of books and other stuff like a… dress? And a hat and other things of no use to him learning magic right now.

He crawled around until he spotted it. A wand. He grasped it and it felt warm in his hand, which was strange in the cold attic.

He looked back at the book and tried to replicate the movement drawn in the book with the wand. Nothing happened. Why didn’t anything happen? Had he done something wrong? Maybe he wasn't old enough after all. His mother had said something about being 11, and he was only 4.

He tried again a few times but he couldn’t get a result. So he threw the wand against the wall when it failed a fifth time, losing interest.

Sparks erupted from the tip of the wand when it made contact with the wall. He crawled back to the wand and picked it up again. Did it just produce magic? It made lights! Could it make lights again? Could he light up the tip? He shook the wand slightly.

“Light up!” he told it desperately. He needed it to light up. He needed to do magic. He just needed it.

He said it a few times and then something truly magical happened. Literally. The tip lit up, and the room became bright, filled with light.

He had done it! Magic! He had done real magic!

He was overjoyed, but his joy quickly got killed as he heard the front door shut closed harshly. In his fright, he wasn't supposed to be up here, after all, he dropped the wand. It was still lit.

Eileen had returned home from her first day of work, and she was quite exhausted. She had never really had to work in her life before, other than in the house, and cleaning wasn't exactly her hobby, either.

Severus made his way down the stairs to his own bedroom. He closed the door to his room just as he heard footsteps come up. His mother's footsteps. And she would be none the wiser.  
Eileen was going up to see how Severus was doing. She was quite curious about how he had spent these few hours. As she was going up the stairs, she heard a door close. She walked up faster and opened the door to his bedroom to find a very triumphant looking boy.

Severus was half celebrating what he had done today. Because he had made it – his mother didn’t know about him doing magic, and he had done MAGIC.

He was smiling as his mother opened the door. She looked suspiciously at him, but neither of them said anything of it.

The rest of the day went smoothly, although Eileen couldn't shake the feeling that Severus had been up to some things he shouldn't have.

The following day, Severus sat in his room, thinking about what to do with this free time he had.

He could sneak back up to the wand, he reasoned. And do what, a voice in his mind asked. He didn’t know how to read, and there were barely any pictures in the books. What use would it be?

He was debating whether or not it would be worth the scary climb up the stairs when it hadn’t worked yesterday.

But it had. It had sparkled and a light had come from the wand when he had wanted it to.

So that was decided. He would go up. Confident with his decision he climbed up the stairs to the attic and put his hand on the doorknob. He tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. Was it stuck or locked? It hadn't been locked yesterday. Had his mum found out about the magic after all?

“Severus Snape,” a voice came from behind. A familiar voice. His mother’s voice. “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked. She had gone up here after her son and husband had gone to sleep, and found her wand lit and books opened.

“I –” Severus tried.

“You were after this – she pulled out her wand – weren’t you?” Severus let his eyes wander. Anywhere would be better than looking at his mother. This already answered her question. Part of her was proud of him for getting it to light up yesterday, but it was also very dangerous. He shouldn't be doing magic in this town.

“Well? You can’t ignore me forever.”

Severus looked down and muttered a barely audible ‘yes’, but his mother had heard him.

“Go to your room,” she told him.

“You - how —”

“Go. Now.”

Severus did as she'd asked, climbing down the stairs to the first floor, his mother following after him. It wasn’t fair. Why was his mother even at home? Why did she catch him — how did she catch him?

And most importantly – why was she mad? Hadn't she been the one to talk to him about magic, and what it was, and that he had to study it to control it and to be good at it? Wasn't that exactly what he had done? All he did was try to learn how to do magic. That was all he did. And that was wrong. Everything he did around here was wrong.

Even learning was punishable here. At least it had been his mother who caught him...

He knew they didn’t like him. Especially his father. He just didn’t know why. He had been a good son, hadn’t he? OK, maybe he didn’t always listen to what they said, and maybe he wasn’t always on his best behaviour, but that wasn’t bad, was it?

His father was never on his best behaviour and he didn’t get punished for that. Why was he any different? Just because he was young? He wasn’t even that young, he had just turned four! He wasn’t a baby. Not anymore.

His mother had locked his room after he had gone in.  
"I'm unlocking it when I get home. If I can't trust you, it'll have to be like this." Eileen hated that this was necessary, but she just couldn't risk it.

Severus heard his mother go downstairs and leave the house, the front door slamming shut.

And the young Severus was all alone again.


	5. Chapter 5

The year passed by and every time his mother was gone for work, he would be locked up. But that was about to change. Because today he would start school. Today he was a very big boy.

And so, the five-year-old Severus was busy readying himself for school for the very first time. His father had already left for work a few hours before, and he wouldn't be missed.

His mother hadn't left for work yet, for she wanted to take him there for his first day. His parents had bought him his school uniform several sizes too big so he could grow in it and they wouldn’t have to buy him anything for a couple of years, but Severus was over the moon with his first set of clothes that was his, truly his, and not his parents’. Up until this point he had been wearing old baby clothes from his mother, and far too big adult clothes of his father's.

He proceeded down the stairs and into the dining part of their living room. His mother was eating breakfast.

“Son,” she said when she saw him walk in. “Are you ready for school?”

“No,” he replied honestly. He was very nervous and wishes he didn't have to go. He wished he could just go back to being locked inside his room while his mother was away, not off to school during those hours.

“Why not? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never left the house, Mummy. I’m scared. What if I do something wrong? What if I do magic?” his mother had told him over and over again, in preparation for school, that doing so would be breaking the law. If he did make something happen he’d be a criminal. He didn't want to be a criminal!

“Severus... If you do make something happen, if you do use magic, then it'll be okay. It's an accident. Don't worry about that. Everything’ll be all right.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” She took the last bite of her breakfast and got up. “Get your coat, it’s cold out.”

She got her own coat as well. She then opened the front door and he saw a road. A cobblestoned road. It was dark – something was casting a shadow over them. He turned to see where it came from and saw a huge chimney towering over the house. He noticed their house was the very last house of the rows. There were rows of brick houses in front of him everywhere.

“That’s where your Dad works,” his mother said, pointing at the chimney as she saw him look.

“In the steam?” he asked. He couldn’t believe his Dad worked in there.

“No, not in the smoke, silly. In the Mill,” his mother explained.

That did make more sense.

“Now, come with me. And when you go tomorrow, be careful not to get lost, OK?” Easier said than done, Severus thought as they were walking through a maze of brick houses.

They finally found an end to all the houses and only then Severus felt like he could somehow breathe again. They came by a river, a black and dirty river.

“Just follow the river, son, it’ll take you to school. But be wary of the crooks and sideways it has, or you’ll end up on the other side of town. And we’re not supposed to come on that side of town,” she explained.

Severus wanted to ask why not, but stayed silent.

They went through the gates to the school and entered the school ground. Children were skipping and playing and just generally being happy. It was a noisy placs and he felt a little frightened.

“I’m just going to leave you right here, OK?” His mother said, patting his shoulder and walking away, not even waiting for his response. Not that he had expected her to stay, but he hoped she would have at least told him what was expected of him.

So he just stood there, in the middle of the paved school ground. There were children scattered everywhere, yelling and laughing and talking. He didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there. More and more children were coming through the gates and crowded with other children.

Then a bell rang. Severus jumped at the sudden silence that followed and saw everyone lined up for the front doors. Severus decided to join them so he wouldn’t be the only one standing in the middle of the grounds anymore.

Grownups entered the schoolyard and stood in front of the lined up children. A bald man with a large brown beard, wearing a suit and tie, stepped up. Severus stood near the end of the lines, so he could barely see the people, but he could certainly hear them.

“This schoolyear hasn’t even begun yet but still some of you managed to get detention. Smite and Jonson, I’m talking to you. Report to my office after school. For the rest of you, don’t repeat their actions. Proceed to your classes.”

That was it? That was the announcement? That two people got detention? He didn’t know where he was supposed to go but he wasn’t the only one, he hoped. This would be the first day for other children as well.

They were the only children left standing. He had been right.

“You must be the new children,” a short, thin, young woman said. “My name’s Miss Brown and I am your teacher. Come on, follow me.” She walked in to the school through the double doors and they followed. They immediately went right and walked through a short hallway and reached a grim looking classroom.

The teacher opened the door and the inside was even worse. Severus didn’t like it at all, but there was little he could do about it. At least there was a heater in the classroom. The children hurried to find ‘good’ seats. Severus wasn’t quick enough so he was stuck in the front row.

Miss Brown explained a couple things about school, and what was expected of them, before they got started.

The first thing they were going to do was recite the alphabet. Severus was unprepared for any of this. Most others had already done things like these with their parents, but he hadn’t. So when everyone was racing through a maze of letters, he just stood there, uncertain of where to start.

His parents barely interacted with him, and when they did it was because they needed something from him, his father was angry, or his mother had gotten lonely and needed someone to talk to.

“Snape?” Miss Brown spoke, standing right by his table. “Why are you not participating?” The class stopped talking abruptly, and instead giggles erupted from the mouths that had before just recited the alphabet.

“I don’t know it…”

“You don’t know what?”

“The aphabat?”

“Alphabet. And it’s Miss Brown for you.” She walked back to her desk. “Again. Slowly this time, so Snape can learn something of this.”

“A. B. C. D. E. F. G…” the class started reciting, and Severus tried to follow along with the letters.

After the alphabet they did some maths, and luckily he wasn’t the only one struggling with this subject, like he had been with the Alphabet. After that, a bell rang and they all jumped to their feet, scurrying to the classroom door and almost running to the double doors to the school grounds.

Once they had finally escaped the walls of the school for a good half hour, chaos erupted. Children grouped up and went to play pretend or go skipping. But not Severus. Severus was interested in play, but he had never really done any of it before in his life. So he was just standing there, in the middle of the grounds, and was just watching everyone play and have fun.

“You’re that kid who doesn’t know the Alphabet, aren’t you?” A boy then asked. Severus jumped, he had been unaware that someone had approached him. Normally he was quite good at this, but this new environment was too noisy to properly concentrate.

“Er… Yeah, yeah, er, I was. Am. I am. Er, my names Severus.” He stuck out his hand but the boy didn’t take it.

“That’s a funny name!” the boy laughed.

“My name’s not funny!”

“Yes, it is! Severus! I've never met anyone called Severus before,” he continued to laugh.

“Stop laughing at me!” Severus pushed the boy away and he fell on the ground.  
“You pushed me!” the boy said, seeming almost shocked.

“You were laughing at me!”

The boy stood up again and pushed Severus. Severus managed to keep on his feet.

The two boys had gathered a crowd of students by now. Two six-year-olds having an argument was apparently a very interesting thing to see for the rest of the class.

That was, though, the exact moment the bell sounded that ended their playtime. They exchanged a couple of glares but then they followed the other children back to their class, and they found their own seats again.

“Have you seen his nose?” he heard the boy behind him whisper. Severus tried to ignore him. Surely they were talking about someone else. They weren’t talking about him. His nose wasn’t even that big. His Dad’s was far larger, more crooked and scary. Like a witch’s nose…

No, not like a witch’s nose. His mother was a witch and her nose was fine… wasn’t it?

“What? Snape’s?” another one asked and his heart sank.

Severus wished he could turn invisible. What use were these magical abilities if he couldn’t use them to get out of this conversation that was clearly about him?

“Yeah! It’s huge!” the first boy chuckled. He felt heat rise to his cheeks as people started to stare at him. He couldn’t let people think he was weak, he thought. He could be strong.

“I know! But have you seen his mum?! It’s a miracle he’s only half as ugly as her!” a girl on the second row giggled.

Why did they have to bring his mum into this? His mum was better than all of them – she was a witch! She could turn them all into frogs or something and they still dared to insult her?

“If we could all be silent,” Miss Brown said, eyeing the class as the chatter died down. Severus had never been more grateful for the teacher he had only known a few hours as he was right then, and he paid extra good attention that lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas to all who celebrate it. :)


	6. A whole new world

The lessons that followed were boring, hard, and uneventful, as there was little other confrontation with the children who had made fun of him (miss Brown didn't allow talking during class).

And yet, what had happened, was still on Severus' mind the whole time. He couldn't let it go, for it was intriguing to him. In a bad way. Wherever he was, people disliked him. His parents disliked him, but they had known him all his life. These people... He somehow had done something to get them to dislike him within moments of meeting him.

Was it his name? They had laughed at his name, but his parents had given him that name, and they didn't like him either. So it couldn't be his name, could it? Unless he had somehow pissed off his parents as he was born, and they gave him that name because they didn't like him...

So maybe it was his nose. Maybe his parents had hated him because of that nose, giving him that name because of it. He liked his name, but not his nose. His nose was too much like his father's.

So that couldn't be the reason. Unless his parents hated his father's nose... And he doubted his mother actually liked his father, or that his father actually liked himself, so maybe it was. There was no way to know.

All he knew was that there was something wrong with him. There just had to be. Why else would no-one like him? His parents didn’t, his classmates didn’t… he had never met anyone who did like him. But he didn't know why.

The bell indicated recess, and sent the class to its feet within seconds.

“Children,” miss Brown said, “sit down.”  
“But the bell-” a boy tried.  
“Jones!”  
“Sorry, Miss.”

They all sat down again. Outside, the other classes started to fill out and go to the schoolgrounds, and out back through the gates, back to their homes for the hour. But not them. Severus stared out of the window longingly. Not because he wanted to go home, but because he wanted to explore the town, for the first time in his life. But Miss Brown seemingly had different ideas...

“Snape. Are you paying attention?”

“Wha – ” he looked up to see Miss Brown hovering above him. He only then noticed the class was filling out – she must’ve given them permission to go as well, he thought. “No, I wasn’t, Miss,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“Well? What’re you waiting for? Go.” He quickly got his things and practically ran out of the classroom, hearing Miss Brown mutter ‘why can’t they ever just walk’ before he closed the door behind him.

He set foot outside the gates and felt the freedom wash over him. He had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, for a whole hour. A whole hour just to himself. Oh, how he loved that prospect. 

He decided to just walk ahead, and he’d see where he’d end up. He started to walk over the bridge over the familiar dirty river that he remembered, if you followed it right, led all the way to his house, but he didn’t go right, he went left, following the river, and the further he went, the nicer the houses were. He was sure some of them – if not all – had indoor plumbing. That was how rich these people were. He was amazed at the size of the houses. They were huge, and had trees and grassland around them instead of smoke and cobblestone. 

He came by a playground, the school barely visible in the distance, where lots of children were playing, all from his school, he recognised by their uniforms. Yet he couldn’t help but feel out of place, as he watched the boys and girls play on the swings or skipping rope or building in the sand that covered the playground. He didn't belong. He watched the people and he wondered why. He inspected them and tried to figure out why he felt so out of place.

Then he noticed why. As he looked at the girls their skirts fitted, their blouses weren’t their mums', nothing was too short or too big. It all fit perfectly, and the boys were the same. His trousers were rolled up on the ends and held up by one of his father’s belts. The trousers of those boys weren't. His blouse was his mum’s, those boys had shiny new blouses. They had fitting jackets and scarves to help with the cold and his jacket was so overlarge it reached his knees instead of his hip. He looked poor, uncared for. And they didn’t. Because their parents cared about them. Their parents had enough money to spend on them. Their parents were kind to them, and helped them, and were nice and loving. And his weren't. 

That's why he felt out of place. Everywhere he went, that's why he felt out of place. He didn't fit in with these people, living such different lives from him. 

He felt tears prickle in his eyes, and he turned around and ran as far away from it all as he could, back to the school. It wasn't fair. He longed to be like those children but instead ge was stuck with his parents and these clothes. It wasn't fair.

He stopped by the bridge over the river, and sat down in the grass by the edge of the water. He calmed down a little. Trying not to cry. He shouldn't cry. Crying was for babies.

He was just plucking some grass, he didn’t have anything better to do. Not him, the poor boy from Spinner’s End whose parents didn't care if he lived or died. No, not him. He just hoped he wouldn’t be the only one on school meals because they were cheaper than homemade supper.

When the bell alerted him the break was over he made his way back into his classroom, feeling down and trying his best not to cry as he saw the other children, noticing everything that made them different to him – because that would only make things worse.

“Mum?” he asked later that day, as he came home from his first day. “The boys and girls at school are mean and-” His mother didn’t let him finish.

“Mean? They’re mean and you come complaining to your mummy, ‘s that it? What kind of man are you? Boys’re supposed to be able to stand up for themselves, Severus! ‘T is no wonder they’re bullying you if you come running at the first comment. Show ‘em they’re messing with the wrong kid and then they’ll stop,” she patted him on the shoulder and that was that.

Sighing about the 'conversation', he went to his room to think of how to do this, how to show them he was the wrong kid to mess with.

The next day at school he didn’t listen and didn't respond to the comments they made about his hair or his nose during and in-between class – he’d get them during break. He’d show them. Besides, it was best not to respond. That way the teacher, who already disliked him because of his inattention yesterday, wouldn't have a reason to single him out. Now it were just the other boys who got the stern looks (which shut them right up. Nobody wanted her to use the ruler, after all).

When Jones walked up to him during break he was almost happy. Almost. This would teach them, he thought. They won’t mess with him after this.

“Hey greasy-head!” the boy yelled. Laughter erupted and a crowd of five and six-year-olds was quickly forming.

“Hello, hallow-head,” Severus retaliated. It didn’t catch on. He had to improve his insults, then. He couldn’t have them be better at it than he was.

“Aw, trying to be funny, are you?” a boy sniggered.

“Shut it,” he snapped. The boy didn’t stop.

“Oh, you don’ like it? What a shame, isn’t it boys?”

More laughter.

“It’s not funny!” He protested. He was supposed to get back at them now, not have them make more fun of him!

After school had finished that day, he walked through the streets with the brick houses where the workers of the Mill lived, including them. It was no secret the old mill was doing poorly. It was just a matter of time before it closed down – and his father would be sacked. Severus shuddered at the thought of that happening – he would be lucky to live after that day.

He closed the door behind him when he arrived home.

“Mum!” he called out.

No answer.

“Mum, are you home?!”

No answer.

“Great,” he mumbled, as he found he was home all alone.

He went upstairs, and to his room. There was little else he could do. He fell face-first on his bed and lay like that a little while, listening to his grumbling stomach.

The school life quickly turned into a routine for the young Severus. He would wake up in the morning, walk to school, pay attention in class, and return home. His parents he rarely saw anymore, and he didn't mind that.

He didn't mind school, but there were things he disliked. He was a model student, never making a fuss or interrupting class in any way. He knew very well how to behave to avoid punishment.

Physical Education was something he grew to despise. Standing outside on his bare feet, with only his vest and underpants on, was something he hated. And Music and Movement seemed pointless to him. The commands from the radio were absolutely ridiculous and he didn't think any of it would ever help him, but unfortunately he had little choice.

The other children of course always made fun of him, especially during these moments, but he was starting to grow accustomed to this happening. Of course, he still needed to work out a way to get them to stop, but he wasn't sure how, so he pushed that into the back of his mind and took the insults.

Besides, it always made him feel better to see them getting punished for disturbing the class with their insults. It was their own fault for causing disorder because they just couldn't wait for break.

Severus rarely got punished in school, although his struggles with writing did get him strapped more than he liked. His handwriting was cramped and too small, but though he tried, it didn't get much better.

It was a good thing he rarely saw his parents.

The only thing he did enjoy a lot at school, was the Singing Together programme. The songs were interesting, and he never really sang before then, or heard anyone sing to him. His parents never sang, and they had no radio.

All in all, he thought his life had greatly improved. Just a year ago he had been stuck inside the house all day, trapped in his bedroom, and now the whole town was his playing ground. A whole new world had opened to him, and he was enjoying every minute of it.


	7. The Magic Spell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy new year to all. Let's hope 2021 will be better.

The first day back at school after his first summer holiday was disastrous. It was cold and rainy and there were welts forming on his hands because he had still not improved on his handwriting.

It was safe to say that be was glad to find the house empty when he came home, with both his parents off at work like usual.

He climbed up the stairs to his bedroom. His knee was hurting a lot, some of his classmates had actually attacked him during break now. It was getting worse and worse, as the others were growing older and thus better at knowing how to hurt him.

The attacks, the insults. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had nowhere left to go. At home things weren’t good either. Well, that was an understatement. It was hard to distinguish the bruises he got from his classmates at school from those his father had given him during the holidays.

He lay on his bed, trying to figure out how to make it stop. He had to make it stop. He remembered what his mother had told him. He had to show them they shouldn't mess with him.

That’s when he got it. He knew what he could do to make it stop. He could do magic – he had done it before. He had stopped his father from hurting him before. If he could do it then, he could do it now. After all, he was older and wiser now.

Yes, his mother always told him not to use it, that it was bad and not suitable in this town, and that he would learn it when he was 11 and off to Hogwarts, but that would take so long! He was only 6 and couldn't wait to learn it. It could help him out greatly with his issue at school.

Determined to finally put an end to all this nonsense he climbed up to the attic, where the mountains of books still lay, covered by a thick layer of dust.

It was exactly how he remembered it.

Severus suppressed a cough, and looked around the attic. It seemed to have shrunken from when he was here last time – or maybe he had just grown a lot. He could barely stand anymore.

He could read the titles of some of the books. “Curses and Counter-Curses” he muttered, reading the title of a large book, bound in red and gold leather. He pulled it closer to him and opened it, curious to see what was discussed in it. 

“Chapter One” he read, “The Dark Arts.” He skimmed the rest of the page. There were no pictures. He took a deep breath and started to decipher the rest of the words on the page. He had only just learnt how to read and the book wasn’t exactly meant for six-year-olds, that much he could tell.

“The Dark Arts are often misun-ders-tood. The Dark Arts are often mi-sun-derst-ood?” He didn't know. This was a hard book. He closed it. Maybe there was an easier book to find.

He spotted a smaller book laying to his left. It was brown and was decorated with beautiful curls. “Basic Hex-es for the Busy and Ve- Vex-ed?” He read the title. ‘Basic’ seemed what he needed, but what did ‘vexed’ even mean? Still, he opened the book, and scanned the subjects.

Maybe he could use this? “Horn tongue hex” Did that do what he thought it would? He had to stifle a laugh as he imagined Jones’ tongue becoming a horn. That would be hilarious.

‘Instant scalping hex’ apparently removed all the hair? This book was genius.

He skimmed the rest of the book and decided on a hair loss curse. It wasn’t permanent, and he didn’t want to hurt him too badly or he would get into trouble.

The next morning he sneaked the book and his mother’s wand with him to school. During break he hid himself behind the school and reread the part on how to do it. ‘Calvorio’ was the incantation. He practised the incantation and the wand movement before he put the book back in his bag and started to look for Jones. This was going to work.

He spotted Jones playing tag with some of the other children. He took his mother’s wand and pointed it at Jones, but he kept moving. How was he supposed to hit him if Jones didn’t stand still? It was near impossible for him to aim right. But he still tried. Jones stood still for a second, and he fired. “Calvorio!” he half-whispered.

He couldn’t see if he’d aimed right. He’d certainly tried. He kept an eye on Jones but he still had all his hair. It didn’t look like he’d hit him. Had he hit anyone else? Or had it simply not worked? 

“AARGH!!” he heard someone scream.

“What’s happening?!” a crowd was gathering around the scream.

Severus quickly hid his mother’s wand and the book back in his bag and flung it over his shoulders before running to the group. He had to see what was going on.

He managed to push through the layers of laughing and shocked children and saw what was at the centre. A girl, a few years older than him, was covering her head with her arms. It was bald. She was bald. Severus had to stifle a laugh, it did look pretty weird. And his spell had worked!

“’Tuney?!” he heard someone call out. He turned to see a red-haired girl running towards the girl his spell had hit.

“’Tuney!” she roughly pushed Severus aside, and he fell into the other children, looking at her rush to the girl apparently called ‘Tuney’.

Teachers were called to the scene, and everyone was freaking out. The girl was taken to the hospital to find out what the cause was of this sudden loss of hair.

Severus knew that they wouldn't find anything, but he wasn’t going to tell them that, was he? They were all Muggles, incapable of doing magic, and prone to locking away and killing all they saw that wasn’t mundane.

The rest of the day everyone was too shaken to do anything, and when he got home there was no-one, so he could put back the book and the wand without anyone noticing.

That night when he lay in bed he started to overthink today's events. He'd done magic. Actual magic. With a wand and all that. Okay, he missed his target, but it had worked.

Maybe if he practised more, he would become very good at it. Good enough to stop his classmates from bullying him.

And so he decided he would spend every moment he could in the attic to read through the books and practise the spells, so that when he got to Hogwarts, he would be at the top of his class.

In the meantime, to deal with the bullies until he could stop them with magic, Severus had come up with a newish technique of not caring, or at least pretending to not care. Every time they made a comment on how he looked, or his clothes, he would just brush it off.

It were stupid Muggles, he had remembered, they couldn’t help being awful – it was in their nature. That's what kept him going. They were mean because they were Muggles, and he was a wizard. He was better than they would ever be.

And so, Severus’ life became a lot more durable than before. Until Friday 3 February 1967 – the day his father had been sacked.

Being the Muggle his father was, he, of course, escaped to the consoles of alcohol at the local pub. And they gladly let him.

But today was the third time in a row he hadn’t come home. His mother had started to worry. Severus was fine without him, but she insisted they search the town.

So he was walking along his mother over the cobblestones. They passed the pub but it was closed. They asked other people who they knew had been colleagues of his father’s. No-one knew where he was.

The search lasted until deep in the night before they returned home.

When his mother closed the door behind them, someone said: “Where’ve you been?” He and his mother nearly jumped from fright when they saw the shadow of a man, and this fright doubled when they realised it was Severus’ father – Tobias.

“Toby –”

“I didn’t say you could speak!” his father shouted.

“Go upstairs,” his mother told him, trying to shove him in the direction of the stairs.

“The boy goes nowhere,” his father said. Severus looked at his mother. They should never have left to search for him. They were fine without him!

“Now, what’re you doing outside at three o'clock?” his father asked.

“We were looking for you,” his mother responded.

“DON’T LIE!”

“I’m not lying, Tobias, we were!”

“I’m not an IDIOT, woman, I can SEE your wand!”

“That’s nothing –”

“LIES. You were teaching the boy magic, weren’t you?”

Severus’ mother looked at Severus, clearly afraid. She had taken the wand for protection, out of old habit. Not to use it.

“I’m sorry, Severus,” she whispered.

“Ah, you confess, don’t you, witch?!”

“Tobias, it’s not what you think –” she tried.

But Severus’ father started to walk toward his wife and took her wand away, tossing it in a corner of the room, much to Severus' relief, who had been sure his father would break it. And then, gone was his magic practice.

“We said, no magic,” he spat in her face.

They argued for a long time, and Severus had sunken to the floor, unable to keep in his tears as he watched them argue, afraid of the moment his father got violent, and moved onto him. And that way he sat, the remainder of the night, which played out exactly how he expected it to.


	8. The Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a literal scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: The Prince's Tale.

By the time morning came, Severus and his mother were bruised and black at the hand of Tobias. He had passed out around five and Severus and his mother barely got any sleep before it was time for school, and work, again.

He didn’t dare ask his mother how he looked – if he looked half as bad as her everyone would still know exactly what had happened. It was obvious. Everyone could put the two things together, even a class of six and seven-year-olds. The Mill closed down, the only logical response was that the children were the victims of their fathers’ anger.

His father was still asleep when he went out of the front door.

He passed the poor brick houses and followed the river to school the best he could. His head was pounding. He was probably still bleeding in some spots, from last night, but he tried to put that thought away. It wasn't something he wanted to think about now.

He could barely see anything with his swollen right eye, but his left one compensated enough… he hoped.

He entered the classroom just on time, and sat down in his seat. He allowed himself to skim the classroom and saw more children look awful. The Mill had a lot of victims still, even though there weren’t even that many workers left to fire at the close-down, as most had been fired in previous weeks.

For once, there were no mean comments from the class about how he looked. Maybe they were too shocked to see 10 of the 34 children in the class beaten up, or maybe they finally knew they were being mean. It was hard to tell.

The teacher didn’t seem to care, or perhaps she just didn’t notice, for her teaching continued as usual.

Most of the class ignored the happenings, like there was nothing unusual about today. But there was one girl who did care or notice. It was the same girl as who'd pushed him aside when he cursed off the hair of that other girl.

During recess he saw many more beaten up children, and the girl from his class asked a few students if they were okay, until she was stopped by the girl called Tuney. She seemed nice.

He didn't go up to her though. Of course not. But she sure was interesting. He had watched her from a distance during class and break, and continued watching her the coming days.

And weeks. Because after a few days he'd seen her do something he didn't know Muggles could do. She had dropped her pencil and it flew back to her hand, much to the girl's delight. She had done magic.

When he got back home that day he immediately ran upstairs and started to search through the books. There had to be something in them about what Muggles could and couldn't do. He stayed up there until he heard his parents come home. He then took his mother's wand, grabbed a few spellbooks, and sneaked out after they'd gone to bed like he had done a few times by now. He practiced in the silence of the night.

But now, he was working on finding a spell to impress the girl, the only one in this town like him, except for his mother. And impress her he would.

Weeks turned to months before he finally had the nerves to even think about possibly going up to her and telling her what she was. She seemed to have no idea. He had asked his mother about it, and she had explained to him that sometimes Muggles get magical babies. So that had to be what was the case now.

He had been... well, spying wasn't really the right word, he'd been interested in this girl who had come to help Tuney, the girl who could make pencils fly, and had followed her because he wanted definite proof she was a witch before taking action. Okay maybe he was spying. By now, he had seen her do more than enough magic to tell her, ask her, if she wanted to be his friend. She was like him, after all. Not a muggle. She could be his friend... A real friend... it would be amazing to have one. Everyone was always talking about that. He had to experience it for himself. 

But he hadn't dared for months. What if she would make fun of him? What if she hated him because of where he lived? Because of what he looked like? He couldn't risk making the only person that was like him hate him.

Until today, apparently, because he somehow just could not hold it back...

He had followed the girls after school to the playground the girls always played. He hid himself in the bushes as usual and watched the younger girl. She was the only one he cared about, Tuney could drop dead right now and he wouldn't even blink. Well maybe he would be surprised because someone randomly died, but that would be about it.

But it was the older one he was interested about. Lily Evans he was interested about.

He needed her. He needed a friend. He was lonely, and this town was packed with Muggles. Only she was to be trusted. Only she could be his friend. She was swinging higher and higher. Way higher than Tuney. Which was good, because swinging low was never as fun. 

Suddenly Tuney shrieked: “Lily, don't do it!” but she had already let go of the swing, flying off it again as she'd done so many times he'd watched them. “Mummy told you not to!” Tuney shouted as the girl had landed, making her own swing stop as well. She leaped up and put her hands in her sides. “Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!”

“But I'm fine,” Lily giggled.

“But look at this. Watch what I can do.” But Severus couldn't see what Lily was showing or doing, as he was blocked out of view by the bushes. But he could tell it was magic by Tuney's: “Stop it!”

“It's not hurting you,” Lily replied.

“It's not right,” Tuney said, but almost immediately added: “How do you do it?”

Severus, who had been looking for a moment to introduce himself for months, found this to be the perfect timing: he could explain! He could explain she was a witch and Lily would thank him for clarifying it and maybe, if he was truly lucky, they'd become.... friends?

“It's obvious, isn't it?” he said, jumping out of his hiding space, sending Tuney off running back to the swings, shrieking. Severus was already regretting him revealing himself. It wasn't as if he looked like he belonged here, and he didn't. He should have stayed hidden, because this way it wouldn't work at all.

But Lily had stayed and as he looked at her, he felt himself blushing in embarrassment. If only he could turn back time...

“What's obvious?” she asked.

He glanced at Tuney at the swings and lowered his voice. Tuney wasn’t allowed to hear, because she was a Muggle. “I know what you are.” He had to pick his words carefully to not scare her away. 

“What do you mean?”

“You're...” he started to whisper. “You're a witch.”

Oh no. He'd thrown away his only shot at getting to know her. She looked mad.

“That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody,” she said, turning and marching off towards her sister, nose in the air.

“No!” he said, desperate to get her to talk to him again. He knew he'd gone fully red by now but he just needed her to listen, to understand. He ran after them. They were standing next to each other by the swings, holding the poles tightly.

“You are,” he told Lily, “you are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard.” Tuney laughed at him.

“Wizard,” she shrieked. “I know who you are. You're that Snape boy!” Severus hated the mention of his father's name. It wasn't his. It was his father's. He wasn't a stupid Muggle like he was.

“They live down Spinner's End by the river,” she explained to Lily and he shrunk. She knew where he lived. Of course she did. And she knew he was poor. The contempt in her voice alone was evidence enough. “Why have you been spying on us?”

“Haven't been spying,” he defended himself, even though he knew what he had done could probably fall in that category. “Wouldn't spy on you, anyway,” he added spitefully. “You're a Muggle.” He hoped he'd put in at least the same amount of contempt as she'd done to him. And he seemed to have succeeded.

“Lily, come on, we're leaving,” she said shrilly. Lily obeyed and glared at Severus as they left. Severus, utterly disappointed, watched them leave the gate. He felt tears coming up but pushed them down.

He wasn't a crybaby.

On his way home that day, he decided he would try again tomorrow. He had to plan it out. He shouldn't have just jumped into it and scare her off. He had to carefully plan out everything he wanted to say.

He stayed up that night to work on this instead of his usual practicing. He had perfected a spell he had been wanting to show her he could do to explain magic to her, but his impulsiveness had put an end to that.

Why had he allowed himself to get overly excited about this? It was stupid. She clearly hated where he was from, thanks to her sister. It would be pointless to try and figure out what to say to her if she wouldn't ever give him a chance to explain.

And she'd find out on her own eventually, too. There was no need for him to explain. He almost let his frustration get the better of him, and quit.

But there is, he thought. There is a need. My need. I need a friend. 

And that, he did. He needed a friend, someone he could talk to, someone he could trust.  
Someone who cared about him.

And his only chance at a friend was this magical girl, and so it was best he continued his little plan.

And so, he would. He'd show her the spell, convince her he wasn't bad. He'd do it all. He'd do anything to get a second chance at her friendship.

Anything at all.


	9. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a literal scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: The Prince's Tale.

The next morning he was fully prepared. He had taken his mother's wand and hidden it in his bag, and had prepared a whole speech for the girl, explaining what she was, what he was, what they were. Where they would go. 

To Hogwarts. 

He left for school like always, his mind going over the words as he walked. He spotted her on the school grounds before school began, but he didn't dare go up to her. There were too many people. Tuney was there, too. 

During class he could barely pay attention, nervous as he was for his meeting with the girl. He kept staring in her direction, but she ignored it. Or didn't notice. Either one was possible. 

When break time finally came around, it had taken ages in Severus' mind, as he had been very excited for this, he was dead nervous. He stopped her as they left the classroom. 

"Lily Evans-" he began. He wanted to ask her to go somewhere private, but she didn't let him. 

"You're the kid from yesterday!" She said, loud enough to attract the attention from the other students. 

"I — Well, yes, but—" she didn't let him finish again. 

"Why are you spying on me?" 

He looked around the growing number of students in the hall, listening in on the conversation. 

"Nevermind," he mumbled, and went outside. He'd try again tomorrow. 

And he did. He tried for days on end, but every time something interrupted them, be it other students listening in like the first time he tried, a bell interrupting (which happened four times), or Tuney finding them talk and pulling her away from him. 

He was starting to think this conversation was cursed, when she came to speak to him! 

“Hey,” she said, smiling. She smiled at him! He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Come on, it couldn't be that hard to talk to her, could it? He had prepared a whole speech and all! But he didn't want to make the same mistakes as he had before. 

“Is it true? What you said? Am I... Am I a - a witch?” she was whispering so that no-one could hear them. 

Severus nodded. "You are. You're like me. I'm a wizard, that's a male witch. It's magic. What you can do, it's magic. I can do it too. And so can my Mum." 

“So, it's... it's magic?” he nodded again, but they had to be interrupted: 

“Lily! Lily you can't talk to him!” her sister shrieked as she saw her sister talking to Severus. She grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away and Lily didn't seem to mind. But at least she didn't hate him. 

This quickly became a regular thing, them meeting at break to say a few words to each other before Petunia would cut in. Severus didn't mind at all. 

He used these moments to explain to her what he had wanted, to explain why he had been spying on her and how they were the same even if he came from a very different kind of life. And she seemed genuinely interested in meeting up with him, and learning more. 

At first it was just about what magic was, and then they would discuss things like creatures, like Dementors or Kelpies. He showed her a few spells behind the school. It was all very secretive, and if his parents found out what he was doing, he'd be done for. 

But she seemed to understand that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone even before he told her not to. He had repeated his mother's words to her, telling her how dangerous it was to let the secret out into the world. 

He explained terms like Muggle, Muggleborn, Halfblood and Pureblood to her, and told her that everyone in this town, except them and his mother, were Muggles. 

That they were different from them. Because they could do magic. 

He spoke of Hogwarts and that he couldn't wait to go there, and that's when it became personal. They had been doing this for a really long time, and Tuney had even stopped harassing them by now. It had been almost a year since the first time he spoke to her, on that playground. 

"Why do you want to leave home so badly? I don't want to go at all... You say it's a boarding school! I'll be away from my family for so long," she sighed. 

"Yeah but... It'll be fun! You'll get to learn magic!" He avoided her question and it was silent for a while. 

"Severus?" 

"Yes?" 

"Who gave you that black eye?" 

He was taken aback by the question and had no time to think. It had been his father's doing. He had dropped his pencil while working on his homework, and his father had lost it. He was getting more violent with the day, and his parents argued more and more. 

"Oh, I — I fell down the stairs–" it was the best he could come up with. 

"Severus!" 

He jumped at her exclamation. "What?" 

"Don't lie to me. What happened?" 

"Why do you care, anyway?" He liked it better when they were just talking about magic. 

"I care because you're always showing up at school looking like you've never lived with a parent ever in your life." 

"I have parents!" 

"How much do they really care for you?" 

He only sighed. 

"That's what I thought." 

Their talks continued and soon they became close friends. It was nearing the Christmas Holidays when something happened Severus never even dared to think about. Things started as usual. He was sitting alone and she joined him, but after talking for a little while she stopped him, and said: 

“Do you want to hang out this weekend? I know a place. We can just... talk. Alone.” 

Severus had never felt as good as he did when she asked that. It was as if he could do whatever he wanted for she, Lily Evans, was willingly spending time with him, after school! She had chosen him over her friends and more importantly, her sister! 

“I'd like that, yes," he answered, not showing how excited he actually was. 

“Great! I'll see you tomorrow!” 

And so they did. She was waiting for him alone by the gate of the school that Saturday. They walked a while in silence before Lily started asking questions about how the wizarding world was ruled. 

Severus started to explain. 

“There is this ministry, you see, and they decide what's happening in our country. Every country has their own ministry and they're all working together. The minister for magic is also working with the Muggle government.” He was glad he'd read his mother's books. 

They had reached a place, a small thicket of trees. They were close to the river since he could see it through the trunks of the trees, but he didn't recognise the area. They sat down facing each other while Severus continued explaining. 

“They also set up rules and make sure you follow them. There aren't a lot, really. Most make sense, like, don't kill anyone. Oh, and a very important one is the Statute of Secrecy,” he nodded to indicate its importance. 

“What's that?” she asked. Severus removed his coat. He was getting hot and he didn't care about his mother's blouse. Not in front of Lily. 

“It's the most important rule. We mustn't do magic around Muggles," he told her again. His mother had stressed that rule so much. "And then there's the law against underage magic, and the ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters.” He was happy he could help her understand the magical world. 

“But I have done magic outside school!” 

“We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven,” he nodded importantly, “and they start training you, then you've got to go careful.” 

They were silent for a little while and Lily picked up a fallen twig and was twirling it in the air. She loved pretending to be doing magic. Then she dropped it and leaned towards Severus. 

“It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?” 

“It's real for us,” he said. “Not for her, but we'll get the letter, you and me.” 

“Really?” she whispered. 

“Definitely,” he was confident in his answer, knowing that would be somewhere he would belong. 

He didn't belong here, not really. He knew that. 

“And will it really come by owl?” Lily whispered. 

“Normally. But you're Muggle-born,” he explained, “so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents.” 

“Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?” she asked. 

“No. It doesn't make any difference.” He lied. It was best she didn't worry about that now. 

She looked away after a few seconds, looking relieved. “Good,” Lily answered with a smile. 

“You've got loads of magic,” he said, trying to change the subject. “I saw that. All the time I was watching you...” his voice trailed away, she wasn't listening. It didn't matter. She had stretched out on the leafy ground and looked at the canopy of leaves overhead. He was watching her. These were the times he felt true happiness. Until she ruined it for him. 

“How are things at your house?” he hated that question as he hated his house. 

“Fine,” he said, even though things weren't ‘fine’. They'd never be ‘fine’. 

“They're not arguing anymore?” 

“Oh yes, they're arguing,” he said, picking up a fistful of leaves and tearing them apart. If only they'd leave it at arguing. But no, arguing turned into fighting and fighting turned into... a mess. “But it won't be that long and I'll be gone.” 

“Doesn't your dad like magic?” 

“He doesn't like anything, much,” he sighed. 

“Severus?” 

He looked up. “Yeah?” 

“Tell me about the Dementors again.” 

“What d'you want to know about them for?” 

“If I use magic outside school -” 

“They wouldn't give you to the Dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too -” he could stop himself from continuing before it was too late, but couldn't stop turning red and he started shredding more leaves to distract himself. Then he heard rustling behind him and quickly turned and saw that, hiding behind a tree, Petunia had lost her footing. 

“Tuney!” Lily welcomed her with surprise but Severus wasn't having any of it. 

“Who's spying now?” he shouted. “What d'you want?” Petunia looked taken aback and was struggling to say something hurtful. 

Finally, she decided to go with: “What is that you're wearing anyway?” she pointed at his chest. “Your mum's blouse?” How dare she insult his clothes, in front of Lily, of all people! His anger had quickly grown and there was a crack and before he knew it, a branch from above Petunia had fallen and caught Petunia on the shoulder. That would teach her, he thought bitterly. 

Lily screamed and Petunia staggered backwards and burst into tears. 

“Tuney!” but she was already running away. Lily turned to Severus. 

“Did you make that happen?” 

Severus had, but answered defiantly. 

“No.” But Lily didn't believe his lie. 

“You did!” she backed away from him. 

“You did! You hurt her!” Yes, he hurt her. But she had deserved it! He didn't understand why he didn't just tell her that, but he just couldn't make himself form the words needed to speak up, telling her the truth...


	10. Conjunctivitis, birthdays and a hug

Lily was mad. Very mad. She wouldn't talk to him. She wouldn't look at him. She was really, very mad.

She just wouldn't believe Severus' lie.

All this time, the entire Christmas Holiday, Severus spent on autopilot, going through the days with little that mattered to him anymore. He had nothing to look forward to, nobody to talk to, and nothing to care about. It was as though he was empty and cold without her there, and it made his head hurt thinking about it.

Severus often thought about telling her the truth, but in the end he always decided against it. He was fairly certain this would pass (his parents fought often and they were still together, and seemed to make up often enough. There was no reason to believe this would be any different).

During these two weeks he was busier than ever. Every free moment he had, he would spend trying to get better and better at spells. He had mastered quite a lot of them already, ranging from easy ones like the Bubble Spell that made bubbles come from the wand (and they never even burst! This had been the spell he wanted to show Lily to convince her she was doing magic) but also some harder ones, like the Seize and Pull charm (which incantation was tricky to master).

He was quickly becoming more and more interested in spells known as Hexes, Jinxes and Curses. The Hair Loss he had caused on Petunia had been a Curse, he discovered. These types of spells were more creative, imaginative and just overall beautiful. There were beauties like the Ear Shriveling Curse (he would have loved to see the creation process of that one!), or the Entrail-Expelling Curse. He was marveled at the inventions.

But in order to practice many of these, he needed an audience to test it on. Some were easy, like the Blasting or Expulso Curses. He would just put a Silencing Charm over the area and blast everything to pieces only to repair it again afterwards.

Magic was brilliant like that. Reversible.

Others, like the Conjunctivitis Curse, were impossible to practice without humans.

As Severus was working on a plan to test this Curse to see if he could do it, it was during recess, Lily had come up to him to see what he was doing.

"Oh, uh, nothing, really," he had answered.

"Severus..." Lily frowned in disbelief. He had several papers scribbled full with ideas. It was obvious he wasn't doing nothing.

"Why are you even talking to me? I thought you were mad," he changed the subject. It had been two weeks. Two weeks of being on his own, working on these spells and nothing more. She had abandoned him for two whole weeks and just came back as if nothing had happened!

"I was," she mumbled. "I was. But not anymore. We can be friends again. I know it's not your fault that branch hit Tuney..." she sighed and looked at her hands.

He smirked. She believed him.

It was silent for a while, and they just sat there, doing nothing, avoiding each other's gaze.

"So what are you working on?" Lily asked again after a bit, trying to break the awkward silence between them.

"Just a little plan," he answered, trying his best to stay vague. He doubted she'd like his plan of how to test the curse... Just like she would hate to learn that he was the one that caused Petunia to wear a wig.

"A plan? A plan for what?"

"Um... That's a secret! It's a surprise."

And what a surprise it was! It took him a few more days, but his ninth birthday, 9 January 1969, would go down in local history as the day the school had the biggest outbreak of Conjunctivitis as of yet.

It was so bad that the school closed down for a while, starting the next day (Friday). Several children were shipped off to the hospital for treatment. Only a few were spared, among them Severus Snape and Lily Evans (although Petunia had caught it among the first ones).

Severus' pride in this disturbance died out when it meant he was stuck inside with his parents.

Not only did being stuck inside remind him of his years where he was locked in his room when he was home alone, not only did it mean it was impossible for him to continue practising his magic because his mother was in the house (the treatments in the hospital didn't work so they closed down the whole town out of fear it was contagious like Conjunctivitis usually was. But since this was all Severus' handiwork, it wasn't contagious at all), it also meant his FATHER was in the house, and that was something he hadn't foreseen.

Maybe it hadn't been so smart after all.  
-  
The outbreak didn't last long, by the end of the month they all went back to their normal lives. Severus had remembered that the end of the month marked something else as well, however.

The end of the month brought with it, Lily's birthday. Her ninth birthday.

He had been working on it for a while, copying his mother's copy of a book called 'A History of Magic'.  
He copied it by hand since he couldn't use magic around the house, in view of his mother.

And so, the first Thursday they were back at school after the outbreak, he went up to her during recess to give it to her. They hadn't spoken yet all week, and he hoped she hadn't connected him to the outbreak or was mad at him for something else.

He had been staring at her all day — all week! — that's how excited he was to give it to her. He was sure she would love it and couldn't wait to see her reaction.

And now he finally could. There was only one problem.

She was talking to a friend about some Muggle television show he hadn't ever heard about (which wasn't surprising, seeing he had no television). He didn't really dare interrupt them so he stood there, waiting, watching her, hoping she'd notice him and get the message and stop talking to that friend to start paying attention to him.

But she didn't. And so he waited again. He waited and waited, trying to pay attention in class but failing. This seemed to be the longest day ever to Severus. Ages seemed to pass as he waited for the end of school to come.

And when it finally came, he made sure she couldn't escape him.  
"Lily, Lily hold up!" He called after her as they left the gate to the school.

She stopped and looked up. "What is it?"

He caught up with her, and was a little out of breath. “Happy birthday!” he beamed.

She smiled. "Thank you!"

“I... I got you a gift.”

Lily's eyes widened. “You didn't have to do that!”

“I know, I know but I really wanted to. I have it in my bag. I hope you'll like it.”

He took his bag of his shoulders, rummaging through the books and papers and finding what he was looking for. He pulled it out and handed Lily the copy. She stared at the papers and read the title he had written on the front page with huge, emerald coloured ink, just like her eyes.

He held his breath in anticipation as she looked at his gift. "Do you like it?"

She didn't answer, not in words, at least. Instead, she did something Severus didn't know why she did. She did something he hadn't felt before but wanted to do every second of the rest of his life. Something that made him feel happy, secure, loved. It was a feeling he had never felt before.

A hug.

She had flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly, beaming as she did so. Severus had a wide smile himself and his eyes radiated nothing but happiness as he hugged her back. He never wanted to let go anymore. He couldn't remember when the last time he was hugged was... or if this was the first time ever. But that didn't matter. He liked it.

“Thank you so much,” Lily murmured into his shoulder.

"No, thank you."

"Thank me?" Lily, much to Severus' disappointment, pulled away to properly look at him. "Why thank me?"

Severus blushed. "Erm... The- the hug. Thank you," he stumbled over his words, slightly embarrassed. He shouldn't have said anything.

"Oh, that! We're friends, aren't we? That's what friends do."

"Oh... Yeah... I suppose it is..." he sighed. He hadn't ever had any other friends. How was he supposed to know that's what friends did? He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had hugged him, let alone his friends.

Lily was his friends.

"What's wrong?" She asked him, a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing..."

"Sev."

"Fine. It's just, I- I just..." he took a deep breath. "I don't think I hugged anyone before." He didn't dare look in her direction, afraid of her reaction.

"Severus!" He jumped at her exclamation. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Oh, come here you," she muttered as she pulled him into another hug. He gladly hugged back, holding onto her tightly.

As they held each other, a few tears escaped from Severus' eyes, dropping down on Lily's jacket. They stood there for a few minutes in silence. Nothing mattered except each other in this moment, and he just couldn't keep strong any longer. He couldn't keep back the tears. But that was okay. For once, he didn't have to be strong. For once, it was okay to have emotions. For once, it was okay to cry.

Because he was with his Lily.

His friend. His saviour. His everything.


	11. Muggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for not updating sooner! I fell ill and just hadn't the motivation to write. But here is the new chapter, and I hope you like it!

After the hug, a lot changed for Severus. He began to crave her more and more. The physical contact, the comfort it gave him. It was something he hadn't known before, but it was also definitely something he wanted to have more, from this moment forward. It was something he never knew he missed.

But that wasn't the only thing that changed. She trusted him, enough to show him her house. He had appeared at school with a swollen eye and a nasty cut on his face, and after school she had grabbed him by the hand and pulled him with her, beyond the river, beyond the playground, and for some reason he felt like his appearance had influenced her bringing him home. Like she did it out of pity or to show others how good she was for taking care of him.

But he knew Lily wasn't like that. She was nice to him because she liked him. 

“This is my house,” she told him as they came to a stop in front of a row of huge houses. Severus realised at that instance that her wealth made his lack thereof very evident and he felt misplaced among all the nice-looking people. He wanted to run away and hide.

He must've looked as uncomfortable as he felt because Lily told him it'd all be alright, and she guided him inside, where she introduced him to her mother. Mrs Evans was, once again, someone who obviously despised him the second she saw him.

"What have we here?" Mrs Evans exclaimed as Lily and Severus approached her. Severus didn't even bat an eye at these introductions anymore.

"Pfft, look what the cat dragged in," Petunia emerged from behind a wall and stood beside her mother. "That's the boy from Spinner's End," she told her with a nasty smile on her face, knowing her mother would disapprove. 

"Spinner's End? The workers of the Mill?" Mrs Evans asked. Severus had wanted to say that, no, the Mill had closed down ages ago and his father was now unemployed and living off his mother's paycheck as a cleaning lady at the hotel, which nearly all went to the local pub where his father was practically 24/7, but he didn't get the chance.

Which was probably for the best.

"Lily, dear, what are you doing hanging out with that lot?" Mrs Evans asked her daughter, and Severus looked at her for her answer, curious as well.

Lily defensively put an arm around Severus' shoulders. "Why shouldn't I?"

"He's a filthy freak, that's why!" Petunia said.

"He's not a freak! You don't know him like I do. You don't know what he has to live through. He is my friend whether you like it or not."

"That's all very well, but I don't want people like him in the house. I spend the entire day cleaning this place up, only for you to bring in a walking germ bomb. I'm not doing it."

"Can he at least be in my room then?" She asked, as if she didn't sleep on the first floor, requiring him to pass at least two hallways and a staircase.

"No. No boys in your room, young lady. Not until you're thirty-five, you hear me? No boys."

They all looked up to see that Mr Evans had also entered the hall to see what the commotion was all about.

"I'm not allowed anything in this house! Don't you see! Don't you understand! Don't you-"

"LILY EVANS!"

She shut her mouth immediately at her father's words. "Sorry Daddy."

"Now you, boy, what's your name?"

"S-Severus Snape, sir."

"The Snape kid, Lily, really?" Mr Evans shook his head. "Out with you, Severus. Back to your own house."

Severus obeyed, not looking back at Liky as he left the house and retraced their steps back to the school, and then back to his house.

At home it wasn't much better. Worse, perhaps, even. Because of course this one day his mother came home earlier than she had told him instead of later, he hadn't been at home when they told him to be.

"You're lucky your Dad's not home yet! But don't think I'm letting you off easy, kid. Where'd you go?" His mother asked him after she was done firing swearwords at him in frustration.

"A friend's house," he answered truthfully.

"You - YOU - have friends?"

He nodded. "She's in my class."

"She??"

"Yes. She's a witch, too. Remember? I asked you about muggleborns and-"

"Yes, yes, yes, I remember alright. Well, that's alright then. She's the right kind of friends. Maybe it's best you're friends with people like her... might prevent you from falling in with the wrong kind."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I don't mean anything by that. Now, off you go, off to bed with you. Don't let me catch you still awake or I'll tell your Dad you weren't home."

"You mean, you won't tell?"

"If you go to bed right now, no, I won't."

"Thanks, Mum!" He ran upstairs and quickly got in bed, closed his eyes, and tried to sleep.

He heard his father come home. He heard his parents talk, and the talk became arguing. The arguing escalated as always and before long it was impossible to block out the sounds of their fight anymore.

He felt as though he was a terrible son, letting his father beat up his mother like that. He slipped out of bed and up to the attic where his mother's wand lay exactly where he had put it last night when he had been finished with it.

His heart was racing as he made his way downstairs, and pointed his wand at his father who was beating up his mother for some poor excuse he had come up with. He knew he was out of sight for them both in this spot, but as soon as he said something, they'd know.

So he tried it non-verbally. He had read that this was possible in some of his mother's books. He decided upon a simple curse, one that would slow him down and stop him from hitting his mother. A full body bind.

'Petrificus Totalus' he thought deeply as he pointed at his father. To his surprise, it worked. His father became stiff and fell to the floor, unable to do anything. He rushed to his mother.

"Mum? Mum are you alright?"

She scrambled to her feet and snatched the wand from him. "I'm fine," she mumbled and pocketed it. "How did you do that?"

"I - what?"

"I'm not in the mood to play games, Severus," she sighed as she went to the kitchen get some ice for her forming bruised eye.

"I've been... studying," he said honestly.

"Studying?"

"Yeah. I've been sneaking back up there, mum, I'm sorry, please don't lock me up again, I'm sorry!"

His mother sighed. "Why?"

"What?"

"Why did you go behind my back and learn. I've known for a while you've been doing this, and I'm glad you didn't lie, but what I can't understand is why."

"I don't want to live as a Muggle any longer, Mum. I'm through with it. Muggles are mean," he murmured.

"Muggles are no such thing. Muggles are human beings just like yourself and if you can't accept that, then maybe Hogwarts isn't for you. That girl, her family, they're Muggles. Are they bad?"

He thought for a bit. "Well... they're not nice either. Don't want me there just because of where I'm from."

"Then we will just have to fix that, won't we?"

"What?"

"You're going to learn Muggles aren't as bad as you think, kiddo. You might have encountered mean kids at school, and your Dad's not always on his best behaviour either, but not all Muggles are like that. You'll see. Come on," she put her jacket on and had him guide her to their house, which he did.

They arrived at the house and she rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to answer.

It was Mrs Evans.

"Hello there, I'm Eileen, I'm Severus' mother. My son was here earlier and spoke of some... unpleasant meetings? I'm not sure how much your daughter's already told you about my son, but I believe it vital for both the children to spend time in each other's company, for their future."

Lily had appeared in the doorway. Mrs Evans looked from Lily to Severus. "You don't mean it's actually true? You're actually a witch and he is actually a wizard?"

"It's all true," his mother confirmed. "Does his upbringing really matter so much when you know how valuable he can be for your daughter? The wizarding world is a harsh place."

So from that moment on, the Evanses reluctantly agreed to have him over occasionally.

Severus returned home with his mother to his father who lay on the floor exactly like how they had left him. They carried him upstairs and put him in bed before his mother undid the curse, to find he had already passed out.

She then gave the wand to Severus. "Promise me you will never, ever, ever, draw a wand on your father again, and it's yours until you can get your own."

"I promise. I won't do it again."

"Good kid. Now off to bed with you, for real this time."

And off to bed he went. Today had been a very eventful day. He had met the Evanses, told his mother he met them, used magic on his own father...

What a day indeed.

He could only hope that in the morning, his father had forgotten all about the incident where he had not only stopped him, but used magic on him.

Because if he hadn't, it wouldn't be pretty at all.


	12. Evanses

The year went by with Severus occasionally making stops to the Evanses, although it wasn't something that happened very often. It was only whenever Lily was certain both her parents were fine with it, which was often when they weren't home themselves. He never came unannounced. 

Until now. 

It was a harsh autumn Saturday in 1969 and inside the Snape house it was freezing cold. There wasn't much to be done about it with the amount of money they had, and Severus' father fixed this by just drinking so much he wouldn't notice the cold. His mother would keep cooking by the warmth of the fire she cooked on, resulting in a lot of prepared food. 

Which, in turn, pissed off his father because it was wasting food. 

Severus had attempted to sneak up to his room during this argument, but his father caught hold of him before he reached the stairs. "Where do you think you're going?" 

"To my room, I -" 

"I don't think so! We aren't through with eating yet!" His father shouted, making no sense to him anymore as just seconds before he had announced he didn't ever want to see food again because his mother had cooked so much. 

"If he wants to go, let him go," he heard his mother say. 

"Fine! Have it your way," his father grumbled and dragged him out the front door, pushed him to the floor roughly and spat "you're not getting in here until tomorrow. See how you like it now to go." 

Severus had fallen down on the cobblestones harshly and he let out a cry of pain as when he landed, he heard something crack. And his wrist was killing him. 

His cries angered his father, he knew that, but he still couldn't stop. He heard the door open and heard his father shouting something at him, but he couldn't focus for his wrist hurt too much. He caught bits and pieces of what his father was yelling — something about him being a cry baby and his father giving him something to cry about — and the pain spread. 

No. More areas started to hurt. It took him a few seconds to realise why or what was going on, but then he knew it. His father was kicking him as he lay there helplessly. He curled up in a ball to protect himself as good as he could but it was no help. He felt his father's pointy shoes hit him in the stomach and on his ribs, against his shoulders and his back. He couldn't protect all areas of his body at once. 

He didn't know how long it lasted before his father left. Severus lay still for a long while after, afraid he'd come back and too sore to move. 

But it had started to rain and he was growing colder and colder and he knew the cold could kill. He knew he needed shelter somehow. 

The only thing he could think of was Lily. Lily could help. But she lived so far away and he had no way of letting her know where he was. 

He felt terrible. 

And worst of all, he didn't have his mother's wand with him. 

He gathered his strength to get up as he started to get soaking wet. His wrist was throbbing and painful, as was the rest of his body. But his wrist was the worst. He made his way through the town, barefoot since he hadn't had time to put on shoes as his father threw him out, and cold without his coat on. 

But he did reach Lily's. By the time he got there it was well after supper and he hoped Lily would still be awake as he rang the doorbell. 

Mrs Evans opened the door, much to Severus' disappointment. The look of horror on her face as she saw the beaten, soaked nine year old... it made Severus wish he hadn't come at all. 

"Oh dear, what happened to you..." she mumbled. "Come in, come in, you'll catch something if you're out there in the rain," she ushered him inside. 

"Take off those wet clothes now dear, I'll get a hot bath ready for you. I'm afraid we don't have any boy clothes for you, however," she told him and left him in the hallway to get the bath ready. 

Severus tried to get the buttons of his blouse to open but his wrist made it hard. He let out a cry of pain as he got the first button to open. 

Mrs Evans came running back at that. "What's the matter?" 

"I — I can't," he whispered, wiping away a few tears with his right hand. Mrs Evans saw the state of his wrist. 

"What happened to you..." she sighed. 

"I — I fell, I —" 

"It's alright. I'll help you. Let's get you warned up and then let's take a look at that wrist of yours." 

Ten minutes later Severus was sitting in the bathtub, the water warming his cold body. Mrs Evans sat on a chair by the tub and was examining his wrist. 

"It looks really bad," she said. "I think we might have to take you to see someone, it could be broken." 

"No!" He pulled back his wrist. 

"Why not?" 

"I — I'm not — I don't —" he took a breath and steadied himself. "It'll heal. I'll look for a spell when I get home. I can handle it." 

"If you're sure..." 

"I'm sure. Thank you Mrs Evans." 

After he was clean — it must've been his first bath ever, he couldn't remember ever taking one, and Mrs Evans had even washed his hair, which gave it a funny smell — and dressed in an old nightgown of the girls, Mrs Evans had taken him into the living room where he was sipping some tea as she spoke with Mr Evans in a hushed tone. 

His wrist was really hurting a lot. 

After he finished his tea, Mr and Mrs Evans announced he would be sleeping here tonight, and they had gotten blankets. He could stay on the sofa. 

And so, Mrs Evans tucked him in and they said goodnight to one another. 

It was the best sleep he had gotten in ages, and he wished he could stay here forever. He knew they were only being nice to him because of what his mother had told them, but, it was still nice. 

He had woken up early as always and had just been lying on the couch, feeling content, when someone shrieked. Petunia. 

He jumped up and her shriek turned into a laugh as she saw him in her old gown. 

"What are you wearing that for?" She chuckled. 

"Your parents only had girl clothes," he said defensively. "It's not by choice!" 

"Why are you here anyway? Parents kick you out? Even they must get tired of you sometimes." 

"Petunia!" 

He looked up to see Mrs Evans had entered the room. 

"Go set the table for breakfast. He's our guest, treat him with respect." 

Petunia reluctantly left him alone, and Severus was eternally grateful for her help. 

After breakfast he changed into his now washed and dry clothes, and said goodbye to the Evanses. Lily insisted she walk him home so he agreed she could come, but not into Spinner's End. 

During their walk back to his house, Lily asked him all sorts of things, about why he had been with them that night or why his wrist was so swollen. He answered them all truthfully, and she made him promise to go to them every time his father was in a bad mood and hurting him. 

So from then on he did. He'd try to escape his father and go to the Evanses every time. Afterwards he always felt immensely guilty as he saw his mother got it extra bad because he fled the house, but she ensured him it was alright and she didn't mind it. He found it hard to believe that, but he never argued. 

This new system really started to work well for Severus, and he found his life getting better. Not just because of his escape to the Evanses, but also because of him being allowed to use his mother's wand, which he gladly did, and often.  
One of these moments was on his tenth birthday. It was night time, he found he could concentrate better at night. He hadn't even noticed it had become his birthday, he was too focused on his spell-casting, when he heard footsteps approach and he turned quickly, wand pointed out. He sighed, relieved it was only Lily. But why was she up? And why was she all the way here in Spinner's End? 

“Hey,” she said. “Thought I might find you here.” She sat down next to him like it was the most ordinary thing for her to be up way past her bedtime and in a part of town she didn't belong. 

“What are you doing here?” Severus asked. He still didn't understand why she was here… in the middle of the night… 

“It's your birthday, isn't it?” 

He thought a moment and checked his watch. “Well... yeah.” 

“I wanted to say happy birthday.” 

“Oh.” 

“Is that a real wand?” she asked him, looking at his mother's wand in amazement. 

“Oh, yeah, it is.” 

“Can I... try it?”

Severus smiled and handed her the wand. Remembering she had never really preformed magic before, he told her through the steps of a simple levitation charm: it was easy enough to get a positive response on the first try, even with a borrowed wand, he thought, and so it would be a good thing to start with. 

He watched her as she tried the charm and her face lit up when she was successful. She was beaming and Severus warmed up inside by seeing her so happy. This truly was the most important thing — seeing her happy. 

Forget wands, spells and incantations. Lily's smile was by far the most magical thing this young wizard had ever seen.


	13. The Last Schoolyear

The year went quicker yet slower than the previous ones. It was already hearing the summer holidays when Lily told him she and her sister would spend a week at their grandparents' and that her parents would be out of town as well, meaning he would be left to fend for himself.

This obviously wasn't what Severus had been looking forward. He wasn't fond of holidays to begin with — even though there were people being mean to him at school, it was better than being stuck at home 24/7. He was glad his mother cared less and less about what he did the older he got. When his father wasn't home, he could do pretty much anything he wanted. And his father wasn't home often. He was always out at the pub, wasting his mother's money on alcohol.

The first day of the summer holidays, he was invited to the Evanses for dinner, and he gladly came over, knowing his mother wouldn't care (Severus rarely saw her anymore because when she wasn't working, she was in bed) and his father would be at the pub until closing time, like always.

He was greeted by Mr and Mrs Evans in an ever getting friendlier manner. They seemed to be warming up to him, except for Petunia. Petunia still hated him. She was the kind of Muggle his father was. Bad, unworthy. But Mr and Mrs Evans were nice. At least they were trying.

The dinner itself was grand. It reminded him of the other time he had eaten here, breakfast, the breakfast had been just as good. These people sure knew how to cook.

"So, Severus. Tell us more about this school you say Lily will be attending next year," Mr Evans stated halfway through the dinner, revealing the couple's true intentions behind letting him come. They were just taking advantage of him, like his mother had told them to.

But at least this way he could come over, so it was better than nothing.

"It's a boarding school," he started with. "A very good one. The best in the world! The headmaster is professor Armando Dippet, who is more than 330 years old! There are four Houses, Slytherin — the best one, my Mum was in Slytherin and I'm sure I'll be, too! — Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor."

"I'll be Slytherin too then," Lily said. "I want to be in your House."

Severus smiled. "I'm sure you can be in Slytherin, and I really hope you will be! Slytherin is great. It's the home for the ambitious, brainy students."

"That sounds right like our Lily," Mr Evans said, seeming proud.

"She'll do well in Hogwarts, won't she?" Mrs Evans asked.

"Of course she will, Mrs Evans. She's got loads of magic," he said, looking at Lily. "The amount of control she has over her magic without wands or nothing, it's amazing."

He watched as her parents looked at her in pride while Petunia looked disgusted. She didn't deserve to have Lily as a sister. Petunia was a terrible girl.

"What about me, then?" The terrible girl piped up. "You were never that excited when I left primary school last year, and she's still got a full year left!"

"We were very proud of you too back then. You did wonderful on your eleven-plus and you're still doing great in grammar school and we tell you this, often enough. But now it's Lily's time to shine. Because she's special, she has these powers. You know that."

Severus was glad he didn't have a sibling. From what he had seen with Petunia, they were annoying and demanded a lot of attention. Or maybe that was just Petunia.

The topic was changed from schools to the food, a safe choice, and Severus lost interest in the conversation, instead focusing more on the delicious food he was eating.

After dinner, Lily took him outside.

"You can't do this," she hissed the second they left the house. They were headed for the playground.

"Can't do what?"

"Eat like that. You eat like you're starving, like you've never seen food before in your life."

He scoffed. "Do not."

"Do too! You eat with your mouth open and you talk with your mouth full. Those are bad."

He was silent as they reached the playground and he went over the dinner in his mind to think of if he had indeed done that.

"Yeah okay I did. But still. So what?"

"So you're a guest here, you're expected to behave well!" She sighed in frustration and sat down on one of the swings, seemingly deep in thought as she stared into nothingness.

"I'll try to get better at it, alright?" He mumbled, taking the swing beside her and staring ahead, watching the town.

\--

That summer, every time he ate, he would pay attention to his manners, his eating with open mouth and talking with full mouth being the top priorities of his. He wanted to show Lily that he could do it.

The week Lily was gone was long and made him feel terrible. He didn't leave the house and focused only on his eating habits and his magic, practising spells and curses and anything in between in the privacy of his bedroom. He had moved all his mother's books there months ago, he was getting too big to comfortably fit in the attic.

He hadn't really thought his mother would care, or even be awake. But when he was testing some curses — nothing major, just some simple ones — his bedroom door flung open revealing a furious Eileen Snape.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked as she walked up to him, snatching her wand from his hands. "Don't you know how dangerous this is?? Those spells I hear you saying, that is Dark Magic, child! You shouldn't be messing about with Dark Magic!"

She lectured him on Dark Magic and how it was bad, how he shouldn't be using it, how it would corrupt his soul and destroy his mind but he didn't believe her. He had used it for years and it hadn't corrupted or destroyed anything at all. She was just being annoying.

But his mother had taken the wand away from him for the rest of the summer. To teach him a lesson, she said.

But Lily soon returned from her visit to her grandparents, and he didn't even really miss the wand. He spent his days out, talking to Lily or playing on the playground with her. Life was good and before he knew it the summer holidays had ended and he was back in school. His final year before Hogwarts.

It was strange to be in the last year. Suddenly you were among the oldest of the school. It had been only days ago that he had stood there on the playground, not knowing where to go. And now here he was.

Most of his classmates sat the 11-plus test in September, but he didn't. He had no need for it, with Hogwarts being his destination regardless of his test scores. Lily didn't take the test either. She had the same destination. They would go to school together.

The school year went by like always, him avoiding everyone except Lily, the other children in their class making fun of him. He wondered if he would miss that, the making fun of, when he was off to Hogwarts.

He wouldn't be made fun of there. He wouldn't be the only wizard in the school there. Muggles were horrible and made fun of others, not wizards. Wizards were too good for that.

It took until November for him to get another invitation to the Evanses for dinner. His mother had long ago returned her wand to him, and he didn't go anywhere without it, including this dinner. He was thrilled for the opportunity to show Lily he had listened to what she had said at the start of Summer, and that he had really practised.

They were eating homemade spaghetti. Mrs Evans had taken up a cooking class over summer, he learnt during the dinner, and ever since she had insisted on making everything at home. Every single thing was handmade.

Severus didn't like spaghetti, and this spaghetti tasted worse than normal spaghetti, too. But he was the good guest and didn't complain. He even complimented her food, saying it was the best spaghetti he had ever had. A little white lie hadn't ever hurtled anyone.

Except him. Because Mrs Evans gave him seconds. He had tried to decline but she wouldn't have it, so seconds he ate. At least he wouldn't be hungry tonight or tomorrow, he thought.

After dinner he went outside with Lily again.

"How did I do?" He asked eagerly.

"Do what?"

"Eat! How did I eat? I've been paying attention to how to eat like you said."

Lily frowned, and he let her think. It had been months. But he was a little disappointed she hadn't remembered. He had worked so hard to get it to improve...

"Oh!! Severus you did great! I didn't think you would actually do something with it."

"I did. It's important to you so it's important to me too."

"Have you been practicing magic, too?" She asked, changing the subject. "Petunia still doesn't believe it's real. Maybe if you could show her..."

"And get called a freak? Get made fun of because of my clothes? Lily, she's terrible! She uses any excuse she can to harass me. I'm not giving her extra reason."

Lily glared at him. "She's my sister," she hissed, and marched back to her house, leaving Severus alone.

The coming weeks their relationship was strained, but as always they made up after a while and it was as if nothing ever happened. He showed Petunia some magic, and as predicted she didn't take it well. But it mended his relationship with Lily, so he was still glad he had done it.

His 11th birthday was a big deal. It was such a big deal that even his parents did something for it. Well, his mother. His father was out at the pub like always.

She had baked him a cake with 11 candles. And as he blew them out, he wished for someone to save him from this place. For someone to give him a better home.

The cake was hardly edible, but he ate it without complaining so his mother wouldn't get mad.

The school year progressed and soon enough it came to an end. The children in his year all would go to different places after this long summer holiday. Some would go to vocational schools, others to comprehensive schools. The happiest were the children who got into grammar schools.

But Severus wouldn't go to any of those kinds of schools. And neither would his best friend, Lily Evans. They would go to a much more special school. They would go to Hogwarts.


	14. The Letter

The summer holidays couldn't go any slower. He couldn't wait for his Hogwarts letter to arrive. Every day he would wait outside for the letter, and visit the Evanses to ask if Lily had gotten hers yet.

And then, after a wait that seemed to take forever, the day finally arrived.

That very special day, Severus woke up to the sound of ticking to his bedroom window. It went through his dream and woke him up. He was disoriented because he couldn't place the sound, but when he sat up he saw what had caused it.

There was a large brown owl sitting behind his bedroom window, pecking at the glass to get his attention. Which had worked, since it had woken him right up.

He got out of bed and opened his window. The owl flew in and circled around the room before landing on his bed. It was carrying a letter.. He took the letter from the owl and opened it. The owl still sat on his bed, waiting for a treat, but Severus didn't pay attention to it.

Because this letter was a letter he had been waiting on his entire life. This letter was his Hogwarts acceptance letter!

He quickly went to his parents' bedroom and peeked in to see if they were awake. He saw his mother staring back at him so he entered, waving the letter. His mother certainly seemed pleased with the letter and flashed him a quick, small smile. It was more than he had gotten from her since he could remember, so he was quite happy to see her smile, especially since he had made her smile!

He quickly left the room again, in fear he would otherwise accidentally wake up his father. He ran down the stairs and sat down at the table. He took out the pencil he used for schoolwork and wrote a letter agreeing to come to Hogwarts. He left space for his mother's signature.

He ran back upstairs to get dressed to find the owl still there. "What are you still here for?"

Of course, the owl didn't verbally respond (it's an owl, after all) but it did stare at him, making him feel uneasy. He quickly decided to get dressed and leave the house. He would ask his mother about it later, he decided. Now he was going to bring the good news to Lily first. The owl could wait.

He was getting close to her house when a loud popping sound got his attention, and he quickly spun around, face to face with a stern looking woman. "How did you — where did you —"

The woman paid him no attention and was headed for Lily's house as well, it seemed. "Did you Apparate, miss?"

This made the woman stop walking. "Why do you ask?"

"Well you just appeared there and I figured maybe you're a witch."

She looked at him from over her spectacles.

"I'm a wizard," he said. "My letter came today. Are you here to tell Lily she's a witch? We're friends."

"Yes, it just so happens to be that I am about to do that. And I'd rather do it without interruptions, if you don't mind."

Severus took the hint and went back to his house, leaving her to explain it all to Lily, and more importantly, to her parents.

He entered the house and was greeted by his mother who had just signed his letter. "Did the owl linger around?" She asked.

Severus nodded. "It's on my bed. I didn't know what to do with it so I just left it there."

"On your bed! You're supposed to give it a treat, stupid boy," she muttered as she went upstairs to find the owl. Severus followed his mother.

The owl still sat on his bed. It was very moody now, and Severus' mother had to carefully approach it and give it several treats before it reluctantly took the letter. Severus was amazed at the intelligence of the creature.

It then flew off, carrying with it, the letter back to Hogwarts. It was official. He was going.

He ate breakfast with his mother and slipped out of the house before his father even woke up. He made his way back to the Evanses again and imagined already how easy it would be to visit her when they were both in Hogwarts. All they needed to do was go to the common room. Simple as that. No getting across town to get to the nice part at all.

And no father to make emergency escape visits necessary sometimes.

He arrived at the house and rang the doorbell, hoping the witch would be gone by now. Petunia, much to Severus' disappointment, opened the door and looked at him with hatred and disgust clear on her face. "Spinner's End is here," she called out as she saw him.

Lily rushed towards the door. "Severus! Severus you're right, it's true, there was this woman, this woman told us everything! She told us all those things you told me about magic and Hogwarts!"

"Of course she did, Lily! Because it's true. It is real. That's what I've been saying for years."

"I know, I know, this just... it feels like it's really come true now. Aarghhh I could be dreaming I'm so happy!" She was beaming in happiness as she stood in the doorway, talking to him.

Severus chuckled. "Well you're not dreaming. It's all real. It's all happening. I'm as happy as you. Come September I'll be out of here, for good."

"Aren't you returning for the holidays?" She asked him.

"Not if I've got a choice, I'm not. If I never have to see my parents again, it'll be too soon."

"Lily, either get inside with him or go outside to him but close that door!" Mrs Evans' voice called from the next room and Lily grabbed her shoes before shutting the door close behind her.

She sat down on the ground and started to put on her shoes. "You really hate your parents, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes I do. All my Mum does is sleep, eat and work a few hours a day. She never talks to me or anything, ever. Sure there's exceptions, but usually she doesn't do as much as wave at me. And don't even get me started on my Dad."

She sighed, and he saw her look at him, examining him, as if looking for new bruises. But there were none. Sometimes, there were long periods where his father wasn't violent. Only distant and angry, but he kept his hands to himself. But then, just as they thought it was going to be alright, he would lash out again. It was unpredictable. Now was one of those good periods.

He helped it would last until he was gone.

"How are things at your house then," she asked. "Not well, I take it."

"They're fine."

She got up, done with putting on her shoes, and looked at him in disappointment. "I'll take that as a yes, then."

He glared at her. He didn't want to talk about this. Why wouldn't she ever just give the subject a rest?

"Oh honestly Sev!" She called out when she saw him lately. "Things have never been fine with you. You really think that after all these years I'll fall for your lies?"

"Why d'you ask then, if you know it so well?"

"Because I want you to know that you can trust me."

"I know. I know I can trust you," he mumbled. She was she only person he had ever trusted. Except perhaps his mother when he was younger. But not now. Now it was just Lily.

"Good," she said, and they walked in silence for a while.

"Lily?" He asked as they reached their old primary school. It was weird to walk by it, knowing he didn't go to school there anymore.

"Hm?" She seemed to have been deep in thought, much like himself.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being my friend." He still could hardly believe she actually liked talking to him. She was the first, and only one, to do this.

"Of course I am." She said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like he was well liked and had tons of friends. Like she wasn't the only one who truly liked him and cared about him in his entire life.

He wasn't sure how he could explain to her what he was scared of. He knew she would make friends easily. She had a quite big friend group here in the town too, so it would only make sense for that to remain the same as they went on to Hogwarts. She was easy to talk to and a great friend, so he could see she was popular.

He was just afraid that she would forget about him when they got there. He was just afraid that when she no longer needed him, she would drop him like he was nothing, and move on with her other friends.

Leaving him behind alone. Because though he dreamt of other friends, and hoped to make some at Hogwarts, he knew none would be like Lily. Lily would always be special to him. Because Lily was the first. The first to care.

"Promise me that when we get to Hogwarts... That you'll still be my friend. That we will always be friends. Best friends," he whispered to her, hoping she wouldn't think his request to be odd or unreasonable. He didn't date look at her and it seemed to take forever before she finally opened her mouth to respond to his question.

"Severus..." she began with. Severus held his breath. "You don't have to be afraid that I'll leave you," she continued, and Severus continued breathing. "You're my friend, and you always will be."

"Always?" He asked her, just to be sure he had fully heard her and understood her. Did this really mean he would have a friend for life? He allowed himself a small smile at the thought, which quickly grew as he heard what Lily's answer was.

"Always."


	15. Home

There were only three weeks left before Severus would be out of here until next summer, and he couldn't wait. He couldn't wait to finally be relieved of his parents, of his house, of his clothes and of that horrible school with the horrible students that went there, and the horrible people that lived in this town.

Unlike here, it would be amazing at Hogwarts. Learning new spells, not having his parents around. And nothing could stop him and Lily from spending all their time together. That was the very best part. Lily would be there with him.

Speaking of which, he was currently in her house. Her parents had taken Petunia for a day out or something but Lily did not want to come with them, for whatever reason. Severus liked to think she had stayed behind for him, but somewhere he knew that was not the reason... Why would she stay behind for him of all people?

But since she stayed at home, alone, she had quickly told Severus to come to her house, which he obviously immediately had done. They had just had lunch, and were currently watching something on the television.

Severus had never watched television before. They didn’t even have one – it was far too expensive.

“They don't even have these at Hogwarts, you know,” he said as he stared at the people moving on the screen. He didn't care about those people at all. He had come to the conclusion he found television to be extremely boring.

“They don't?” Lily asked, and she was shocked. 

“No, magic interferes with technology.”

“Then why can we watch now?”

Severus rolled his eyes. She really didn't know that yet did she? Of course she didn't. She was new to all this.

“The amounts of magic present here are barely mentionable,” he said “That's what interfering with technology. The magic in the air. And the magic of two kids isn't that much. The magic of a whole school...” 

“That's too bad,” she muttered. “You wanna go do something else?”

“Don't you want to watch your programme?”

“Nah, It just ended, come, let's go upstairs. My parents can't stop us now.” 

Severus looked at the television and the programme was clearly still going, but he didn't complain and followed Lily upstairs and was yet again in awe of how big her house was. It was absolutely massive.

He had never been upstairs before. It had always been out of bounds. He could go to the kitchen or the living room, but never upstairs.

Lily pulled him inside a room with flowers on the walls and a dark carpeted floor. There were thousands, okay not literally, of toys and books in the room.

“This is my room. Next to me sleep my parents and Petunia's across the hall. You want to see their rooms?” Lily asked him.

Severus didn't really want to. He wanted to stay in Lily's room, he wanted to ask her what certain things were, he wanted her to talk to him about memories she had of the room, about good things that had happened here. But instead he let her drag him to her parents' room.

Her parents' room was big. Big and quite colourful. There wasn't much in the room, just a bed, drawer and nightstands. But it was more than fitted in his parents' room, which was practically just a bed with a tiny closet for clothes. There was barely room to stand. But here there was more than enough.

Next up was Petunia's room. It was an explosion of pink. It almost hurt his eyes so pink was it. The walls were a bright pink and the carpet was baby pink. Almost all items in the room were pink: pink lamps, pink desk, pink chair, pink bed...

As he was looking through the incredibly pink room, he spotted something that wasn't pink. It caught his eye, and he walked up to it. It lay on the desk. He held it up, showing it to Lily.

It appeared to be a letter.

From Hogwarts.

“What is that, Lily,” he asked, “It's got the Hogwarts logo. But that can't be right, can it?”

Lily approached him and took the letter from him. She examined it and pulled it out if the envelope. “It's from Dumbledore,” she gasped as she read the letter.

“Why would Dumbledore write to her? She's a Muggle.”   
“It's a reply. She… she wrote to Hogwarts. Can you believe this,” she showed Severus the letter and he quickly read it. Dumbledore wrote back saying she couldn't study there and that he was sorry about it.

Petunia, wanting to study at Hogwarts? Really? That way utter nonsense.

“What? Muggles can't write to Hogwarts, that's impossible!" Severus called out in realisation what this meant.

He started thinking. "Muggles can't write Hogwarts... Unless... There must be wizards working at the post office, undercover of course, or at least Squibs, or others who know about Hogwarts. That's the only way it can happen...” he mumbled, thinking up the most logical explanation he could think of. 

But Lily wasn't listening. She was thinking about her own things. "Do you think she's jealous?"

"Hm?"

"Tuney. Do you think she's just... jealous? That she wants to go to Hogwarts too and she can't and that's why she's so... mean?" She looked at the letter.

"Petunia? In Hogwarts? Come on, she's hated me since before she even knew Hogwarts existed!"

"That's true," Lily sighed. "I feel kinda bad for her, you know? That I get to go and not her too."

"She's a Muggle. It's not in your control."

"I know that. I just wish it was."

He wasn't sure what to say to that, but he didn't get the opportunity to answer anyway. The sound of a car pulling up by the house interrupted their conversation. He went over to the window and he saw Petunia get out of the car.

"They're back!" He hissed to Lily, who had been peering over his shoulder to see who it was. He hadn't been allowed over while they were away unless it was an absolute emergency. It most certainly wasn't, so he had to leave, and quickly too, if he didn't want Lily to get in trouble.

The front door opened. There wasn't time to leave.

"Hide, in my closet, go, go go!" She pushed him back into her room and ran downstairs.

Severus opened her closet door and stepped inside. Though it was bigger than his own, it was small and he couldn't say he was comfortable or anything. In fact, it was far from it. He barely fitted in. He closed the door and stood behind the row of hanging dresses, waiting for Lily to come back and tell him he could come out.

It seemed to take forever, so he let his mind wander. It naturally went to Hogwarts, and what it would be like there. He had read about it a lot, but actually going there and experiencing it was always different, always exciting. He was quite nervous about it.

He thought about what he would learn. What the teachers would be like and if they would be nicer than the ones he had had here. He hoped so. He did not like the teachers he had had in all the years he had gone to school here. He hoped the Hogwarts staff was nice. He hoped the Hogwarts students were nice as well. The students at this school were awful.

As he was going over all these points, footsteps were coming up the stairs, entering the room, and opened the closet. To Severus' great relief, it was Lily.

"They're all busy in the kitchen now," she whispered. "If you're really quiet we can get you down."

And that's what they did. He walked down the stairs as quietly as he could, and reached the front door without getting caught. Lily was right behind him. He opened the door, and that's where it went wrong. He had turned around to say goodbye to Lily when he saw Mr and Mrs Evans enter the hallway.

Lily was quick. "I'll ask them, wait here, okay?" She said, and though he wasn't sure what she was referring to, he obeyed and stayed silent.

She turned to her parents and acted surprised to find them there. He smiled a little to himself. She was so supportive.

"Can Sev eat at our place, please?" She asked.

"Well..." Mr Evans began.

"Please, Dad, he hasn't eaten all day! He won't be getting any dinner either otherwise..."

"Alright, he can eat here," Mrs Evans decided.

Lily turned back to Severus. "You can stay here," she said, smiling. He smiled back.

They went into the dining room and sat down. They waited until the adults were gone.

"You're a good liar," Severus grinned. "Thanks for helping out."

She shrugged. "Today might be a good day. Today you might've eaten. But what makes a good fib is basing it on truth. You've told me often enough you wouldn't be eating anything all day for whatever stupid reason your parents came up with."

"I never—"

"I'm not an idiot, Sev. You've hinted at it, whether you meant to or not. It's not hard to put two and two together, knowing your home situation."

He sighed. She was right. Yes, there were days he didn't eat anything, be it because he angered his father or because his parents just decided he would be fine without anything over the weekend and they couldn't afford money on it. He was on school dinners, you see. It was free because his father was unemployed, but he had had them even before then. If was simply cheaper.

That evening, the Evans family's supper was once again magnificent to him. It always felt like a true feast, and he couldn't help but wonder what the food at Hogwarts would be like.

Hogwarts. Soon enough, he would be off to Hogwarts.

The coming weeks he spent getting ready for the school. Buying his supplies and getting his very own wand. He couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts.

Oh, Hogwarts. The great, wonderful Hogwarts. He hoped he could finally find a place he would belong, a place he would fit in and a place where people actually cared about him, in Hogwarts.

He hoped to find friendship and family in Hogwarts. He hoped for a new beginning in a place where nobody would know he was from Spinner's End. A place where nobody would even know what Spinner's End was.

Hogwarts would be his one and only home.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was it! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. I'm sorry this last update kept you waiting a bit longer than usually - I'm already working on part 2 and it's taking up quite some time! I hope to publish the first chapter of part 2 within the next fortnight. So until then, goodbye.


End file.
